It Ain’t About Pants

It’s been an interesting two weeks around these parts. I officially became houseless. I slept in my childhood home for a few nights, using a bed and shower that was made for 10 year old me, not 36 year old me. I haven’t seen my son in person in 14 days, though we FaceTime about every 12 seconds. And I am sitting here now with Christy, in California, mulling over walking into Tijuana on Monday and then definitely playing 36 holes at Torrey Pines on Tuesday. 

It’s unusual, isn’t it? Weird? Against the grain? Risky? Outside the box? And yet, no one has ever been happier. Christy is living her childhood dream, spending ever more hours with our son, eating dinner with her parents, and generally feeling free. Banks is thriving at his new school, happy, loved, curious, and missing his dad I hear (30 more days, son. Like he is reading this?). And me, well, I’m on fire. 

May 2017- After weeks of excruciating thought some almost two years ago, the name “anything but khakis” came to me like a meteor crashing into Earth. It described my take on fashion perfectly, but little did I know that it would also be the perfect phrase for how I believe life should be lived. Intentional. Passionate. A little weird. A little wild. anything but khakis ®️. 

It was aspirational.  Lots of people talk a big game. Could it be done? Could the vision and the subsequent work really make dreams come true? What exactly were the dreams? How could everyone be included? How could everyone become free?

Back to today. If you ask me my address, I don’t have one to give you. If you ask me what I do for a living in 30 days, the answer will be nothing. If you ask me if I am happy and if you ask the people around me if they are happy, you will just get a big smile. 

The world has a way of making us point fingers at everyone but ourselves. The world has a way of making us feel selfish for taking the risk to have a dream and follow through with it instead of being bound by societal norms. The world has a way of making us feel weird if we don’t conform to exactly what everyone else is doing. 

I have felt this way for many years, but to avoid being just another talking head and to avoid feeling stuck for the rest of my life, I finally sought out to do it. 

Step 1 is almost complete. What WAS step 1? Completely change my life, obvi. If someone now asks me my credentials, I can look them in the eyes and say I have done it. No theories. No hypotheses. I have completely transformed my life. Took 21.5 months.  Been there. Done that. Documented it every step of the way. 

Friends, we are roughly a month away from abk taking an exciting new turn. In the meantime, I will offer my final thoughts and takeaways of quite an extraordinary journey that I hope will help you in yours. 

But today, I simply want to say one thing. It’s been killing me for months now. So here goes. I don’t give a shit if you wear khaki pants. Like, not one iota. No one does. Some are actually quite nice. 

But they are safe, and completely changing my life was the complete opposite of being safe, so the name fits perfectly. 

What I do want is for you to know that an intentional, purposeful life is out there for you. Even if it looks weird as hell. Especially if it looks weird as hell. I’m doing it, come Hell or high water, and I’ve never felt more alive. 

anything but khakis ®️- Benj