It should come as no shock that exactly zero FIFA World Cup 2026 matches were played in Ocean Springs, MS.   Therefore, we had to hit the road to experience the beautiful madness. My first choice was Monterrey, Mexico, but given everything that is going on in my life right now, that seemed a stretch. Also, my stomach and Mexico have a love hate relationship. 

Realistically, Dallas, Houston, and Atlanta were the most viable options, and I would have gladly picked any of the three. I started looking for games that I would enjoy in those locales, and nothing really jumped out at me.   Then it hit me. Roll the dice, and find a game later in the tournament where the teams were unknown. We might get a dud. We might get magic. 

So that’s what I did. I mortgaged the house (just kidding) and joined the hundreds of thousands of global fans who depleted their savings accounts to experience the beautiful game at its finest. I picked Atlanta and ended up with England vs. The Congo in the round of 32. 

I hadn’t been this excited in a long, long time. 

—

Atlanta is a ridiculously underrated city. It has everything New York and Los Angeles have, but since we southerners talk a little funny, it doesn’t get all the love. I am usually an outdoor stadium guy, but I cannot tell you how happy I was that the soccer game was inside. Hotlanta was indeed hot, and I didn’t want to watch a bunch of English blokes melt. 

My 11 year old son had been out of town for roughly two and a half weeks enjoying life, so I met him, my niece, and my brother in law the night prior to the game. If the World Cup game was one of the most incredible sporting events I have ever been to, the Braves game we went to the night prior may have been the most boring (and hottest). 

Fast forward to game day. We departed the hotel at 8:30am for a noon kickoff, excited to take it all in. As soon as we got to the MARTA station, the buzz started. There were jerseys from a zillion different countries. Different nationalities. Different languages being spoken. I was in heaven. As the train filled up stop after stop, the excitement continued to grow. Everyone was talking to everyone. It was indeed beautiful. 

—

The random English songs were our favorites. Every time we turned around, somebody was singing something. Before long, we were singing too. I am virtually certain at no time in my 44 years have I sung James Taylor, Oasis, and The Beatles on the same day. Every time the boys started on with I wanna stay here, and drink all the beer, my son just started giggling. 

To get the full experience, I met up with one of my former college teammates (who is from England but lives in Atlanta) before the game. He bought me a pint, not a glass, but a pint, and we caught up with our two young sons in tow. The hallways of the stadium were packed. The atmosphere was electric. I am pretty sure the gentleman from Portsmouth, England who sat beside me spent his entire retirement to follow England around America all summer. 

The game did not disappoint. Congo took the early lead and led most of the game, then Harry Kane caught fire and scored twice at the death. England won 2-1 en route to a 3rd place finish for the tournament. The Congolese fairy tale ended. It was beautiful all around. 

—

We spent roughly eight hours amongst the madness. We sang, we danced, we shouted. I don’t keep a bucket list, but boy, if I did. 

Before the game, I asked the old English chap beside me what he was going to do if England won. Was he going to go to Mexico City to watch a sure to be epic clash between England and Mexico?

He told me firmly that he had already spent all his money. But without missing a beat, he gave me a wink and said Probably.

I hope he went, and I hope he had the time of his life. I sure did. 

I thought my return to writing would be much more exciting. After the better part of nine months of extreme discomfort put me on the sidelines, I thought I’d come back with a bang. Tell you about my body’s transformation. Give you details about my recent World Cup adventure.  Explain to you just how close I am to getting my full PGA membership. 

But life had other plans. 

—

My wife found out two weeks ago that she had breast cancer. She’s in surgery right now. I’m typing this with tears rolling down my face in the waiting room. If you’ve ever met her, you know she’s tough as nails, so it’s strange seeing her scared. In twenty years, I don’t recall if I ever have seen her scared. Mad, often at me, yes?! Scared? Not Christy. 

She is the one who takes care of people no matter the situation. Me, the kids, her students, her family, friends, and sometimes random strangers. They/we often try to reciprocate, but she is a giver, not a taker. 

So to see a battler be scared and a giver reluctantly become a little bit of a taker has been unusual. Her mind, combined with Chat GPT, has gone through every permutation of worst case scenario possible. I contemplated throwing her phone out the window, but ultimately just kept my mouth shut. 

She worried, grieved, and became sad and angry. Then, yesterday, she found some peace. She hadn’t slept in two weeks. Last night, with some angry storms brewing, she slept like a baby. 

—

Amidst all of this, one of her best friends set up a meal train online.   Before we could blink, every meal for the next two weeks was filled, hundreds of dollars of DoorDash gift cards came through, along with thousands of dollars in cash. We were floored. I was floored. She was floored. She didn’t ask for this. 

Christy is a giver, not a taker, but that’s why the response was what it was. If I can wipe the tears from my eyes, I and we want to say a humongous thank you for the generosity. It’s mindblowing. I’ve teared up more in the last two weeks than I have in my entire life. 

—

As I sat with Christy in pre-op today, something brought tears to her eyes. So she gently asked me, “Benj, do I have mascara running down my face?”

“Mascara”, I asked. “Why did you put mascara on?”

“Because I am who I am”, she said, and we both busted out laughing!

A giver. She’s a giver. One tough-ass giver. 

As of 5pm today, I’m fifteen holes into the rehab golf journey. I played three holes Friday and twelve holes today in two different six hole spurts. I’m currently two under par with a clean scorecard. 

Let me offer a few details. While dealing with a neck, shoulder, and back weakness injury, I didn’t touch a golf club for over four months, although I did more small muscle band and posture work than I’ve done in my entire life (hence the injury).  

A few weeks ago I started putting. Then chipping. Then some irons. And then, last Friday it hit me, it was time to try and play. To start, I played from the front tees and birdied the first hole. Let’s go. 

Friday’s three holes were spontaneous. Today’s twelve holes were like a kid waiting for Christmas morning.  I could not wait to play. For my first six holes, I backed up one tee box and shot one under par. For the second six holes, I reverted back to the front tees and made six pars. After almost five months, I finally pulled out the driver. Satisfying, and my core did not explode. 

—

Stay tuned for all of my learnings from the past five months in the near future. They are many, and I’ve got to gather my thoughts. But let me leave you with this. 

I’ve now had two wake up calls over the past  two years, and in hindsight I couldn’t be more grateful. I’ve learned how the brain works. I’ve learned where my body has deficiencies that can be handled easily with daily attention. I’ve learned to recognize patterns of my own behavior that need to be transformed. 

I’ve also learned that maybe I should play golf with just irons. The results seem to be pretty good. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.

Sorry it’s been so long…just over four months to be exact. I’ve been busy…but not the typical busy. In late September 2025, my body began to break. First, it was my left hand. Then my left knee. Then my neck, shoulders, and upper back. Then my core. Finally (hopefully), my right ankle. Seemingly random, maybe unrelated, maybe all related, I have no idea. But after a few months of fear, discomfort, and observing every sensation in my body, a couple of things are crystal clear. 

First, my body was not strong enough to handle everything I was doing: working, playing, teaching, coaching, and powerful yogic practices. Second, my body has never been strong enough to handle everything I wanted to do. It’s why, even though I experienced tremendous success as an athlete, my body always eventually broke down. Third, this four months was an immense blessing and opportunity. Roughly six weeks ago, with the help of a professional, I began putting myself back together. Inch by inch. Piece by piece. 

And correctly. 

—

I’ve lost 34 pounds. I stand an inch or two taller. (I was already 6’4” slouched.) My chest is wider and out. My shoulders are more back. Breathing is easier. I stand taller. Much taller. For most of my life, I was tense and tight, with poor posture and body mechanics. I never tended to them properly, and four months ago I got a wake up call. It all happened simultaneously as if the world was giving me a real chance to transform, lest I deal with this periodically for the rest of my life. 

I am not pain free yet, but it’s more than bearable now, especially since I realized the enormous blessing that life handed me. Tend diligently to the important things that need to be correct for ease of life: standing correctly, sitting correctly, lying correctly, and breathing correctly. 

—

I thought changing locations and careers might lead to a transformation, but that was simply a change. Wildly important, but still just a change. 

I thought beginning yoga, breath work, and meditation might lead to a transformation, and it did for a few months. Until my body proved too weak and inflexible to handle. 

So now, here we are. I have no idea how this ends. I’ll check back in with you soon. But as I sit here right now, my chest is out, my shoulders are back, and I feel strong(er). If I want a deep breath, there’s a good chance I can snag (and enjoy) one. 

—

There were things I couldn’t do over the past four months which pained me. There were things I did anyways though almost totally distracted by discomfort. 

I still have a million things I want to see and do, including a return to those powerful yogic practices that had begun to do me so much good. Though it may have appeared that I had a strong body, I don’t know that I ever did. I know I’ve never been flexible or had correct posture, which basically meant I was making life harder on myself than needed. 

So that’s the daily priority right now: healing, strength, posture, and flexibility. I’ve got a professional guiding me, and I’m locked in. 

Until this past week, I haven’t swung a golf club in four months. I’ve got brand new Titleists in my locker with the plastic still on them. And I’ve circled March 2, 2026 for my return. If you’ve ever met me before, you can count me down for a minute, but don’t ever count me out. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.

As I’ve written before, I used to love my trips as a child with my father. We went plenty of places, but the ones that stick out most were to New York City. Inexplicably, when I got a certain age (still a kid in my book), he let me roam free. But never, ever, to my knowledge, did I buy something of any value without his permission. 

So this is where the paths begin to differ. 

—

My ten year old son and I just completed our 4th Annual Father Son Labor Day Sports Trip. The first year we went to Detroit. The second year we went to Los Angeles. The third year we went to San Francisco. This year? My son’s beloved Boston, Massachusetts. On this year’s trip, I instituted a new rule: no screens for him and minimal screens (taking pictures, etc) for me. I was hyped. He behaved like a child, and I mean that in a great way. He behaved like a kid, alive and present in this world. 

…and a little mischievous. 

—

We had no sooner arrived inside Alumni Stadium at Boston College than I had lost my son. Thirty seconds in, and he was gone. I looked right and left and eventually spotted him by a table under the bleachers. Curious as ever, I meandered over to find him writing Banks Bostic opening bid $125 on a sheet of paper under a framed picture. The picture, which he later likened to the Mona Lisa, was a giant framed photograph of his beloved Jayson Tatum dunking over LeBron James. My son was well pleased. I immediately began thinking about how we would transport this item home if he won. Totally engaged in the process, my son got outbid but then re-bid and eventually won, snagging the framed photo for $155. Unconcerned about where this money was coming from or how the picture was getting home, he said, Dad, this is going to look great in the sports room.

—

Later that evening at Gillette Stadium, the weather turned a little nippy. We were both excited for the game between the New England Revolution and my beloved Charlotte FC, and I was rocking my new authentic Charlotte FC jersey for the first time. Fast forward to the 87th minute of a tied game, and Charlotte FC scored on a thundering header to win the game 2-1. This all happened right in front of where we were sitting, so moments later when the final whistle blew, my son began screaming at me to take my jersey off. I screamed back that I was already freezing, but he was hellbent on getting my only once-worn jersey autographed by someone. Sure enough, the rock of the Charlotte FC defense during their eight game win streak came over all smiles, had a chat with us, and signed my jersey. My son was well pleased, but I politely asked him to give me my now autographed jersey back since I was shivering. 

I couldn’t imagine what was in store next. 

—

The following morning brought sunshine and heat again, but not Mississippi heat. Boston heat. It was Sunday at Fenway, and after the game Banks planned on completing his holy trinity of base running: Dodger Stadium, Wrigley Field, and now Fenway Park. We met up with some of our old friends who now live in the area, and the six of us enjoyed a beautiful afternoon in the right field bleachers at Fenway Park. Unbelievably, we even saw an inside the park home run!  After the game, all the kids gathered on the field and slowly inched towards the infield to begin their base running extravaganza. As we waited around the infamous Pesky’s Pole in right field, I saw my son climb up on the fence, and I wondered what in the hell he was doing. Prior to the security guard running over to shoo him down, he may or may not have joined the legions of others who have autographed Pesky’s Pole. (I am not at liberty to say whether this actually happened.)

My son did not like being yelled at, but deep down, I think he was well pleased. 

—

I remember clearly the freedom that I felt being able to roam about New York City as a child. I saw a little glimpse of that with my son this trip in Boston. He already loved the city, and now, well…

…we got an autograph to bring back to coastal Mississippi, and he may have left one in Boston to remain forever. Or at least until they repaint the foul pole. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.

If you had told me ten years ago that an ideal summer for me would include rooftop pools in New Orleans, hosting sold out junior golf camps, and sitting in the presence of an Indian mystic, I’d have said you were nuts. 

But once again, here we are: a summer characterized in part by all the things I did matched beautifully with endless hours of sitting perfectly still. 

The summer of 2025…shall we dive in?

—

First off, we got a beautiful new member of the family: Macy. Second, my son and I went to our first ever card show. Third, and potentially most importantly, I finished my Inner Engineering experience and sat for a full day with an Indian mystic. (Yes, that happened.) And last, I did some normal summer stuff, if there are such things anymore. 

—

It makes me giggle to wonder if the following places were on anyone else’s summer travel list: Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Tupelo, Lake Charles, Charlotte, Wingate, and Pinehurst. Likely not, but after having experienced it as my travel list, the only one I’d reconsider next time give the circumstances would be Lake Charles. How was I to know that I would get caught up in a police chase and four hours would turn into seven? But I digress. 

I played three competitive golf tournaments this summer. In two, I stunk it up, but in the other, I shot my best two day score ever along the now almost six and a half year golf journey. I also got to play the venerable Pinehurst #2 for the fifth time, always a treat, and this time was no different. 

But as far as golf is concerned, my most memorable thing from the summer may be hosting the Inaugural Shell Landing Family Cup. All of the juniors that I teach got to pick a parent or other adult to play with, and then we finished up summer camp with a kid/adult scramble followed by a big party. After getting all of my administrative duties out of the way, I played with my son, and it was just magical. 51 players plus grandparents, aunts, and uncles…that’s a lot of hot dogs after!

—

It was a welcome experience to go back home for about five days to see my family, friends, and swim in my sister’s pool. I got to hear my mother play the organ, watch an international soccer game, see some familiar sights, and visit with a wide variety of friends. One person that I didn’t get to see but wasn’t bothered by was Caveman, my close childhood friend of forty years. I wasn’t bothered because he was coming to see me the following week!

It is still an unusual experience living amongst Airbnb’s, but there is a massive benefit when friends come to visit. They literally stay next door. Caveman and his family rolled in, and it was business as usual. No warmup needed even if we haven’t seen each other in two years. Straight to it, hugging, talking, and laughing. We could have done nothing and been happy as clams. Honestly, we almost did do nothing, and it was beautiful. 

—

All of the yoga, meditation, and breath work has truly transformed how I see and experience life. I had no idea what to expect, and every day something new and exciting pops up. The one thing I wasn’t expecting was that my need for food would be reduced. Over the past few months I’ve gone from three to four meals per day to only two, with plenty of energy to spare. 

I mention this only because I can’t make it through this entire post about the summer without mentioning the cuisine. As someone who appreciates flavor in all things life, it’s quite important. The standouts ranged from fresh cannolis in New Orleans to some crazy ramen dish in Tupelo. Hole in the wall burgers in North Carolina to hole in the wall ribeyes out in lala land. The list is endless, just not as endless as it once was. 

I still appreciate the flavors. I just don’t need quite as much. And that pretty much sums up my summer. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.

I’m on a flight right now from Mississippi to North Carolina. A very delayed flight I might add. It’s now scheduled to land at 11:05pm in Charlotte. I awoke this morning at 4:30 am. 

I’ve travelled every week this month. First, my entire family joined me in Baton Rouge for a couple of days centered around a golf tournament I played. Next, my son, daughter, and new dog joined me in New Orleans for a little hotel, pool, and food extravaganza. Last week, my boss joined me in Tupelo for another golf tournament. 

And now, I’m off again. I would say it’s for vacation, but honestly I play when I work and I work when I play, so I don’t think there is such a thing for me. 

—

For the past three to six months, I’ve consciously done something I had never done before: go a million miles a minute but make sure that I’m deeply still a couple of times each day.

It’s been a beautiful and refreshing experience. The list of things I want to do in my life and the things required to actually do them takes an absolute minimum of twelve hours per day and oodles of energy. I learned last year that if I didn’t incorporate some daily cleansing via stillness, I might become a disaster, or worse. 

So for 15-30 minutes per day, I go into deep silence and stillness. It is an intoxicating experience, and that seems to be plenty of time to provide me the energy and clarity needed to tackle my life’s interests. I require less sleep and way less food, yet I’m genuinely living more life than I ever have. 

—

I have a zillion people I would love to see while I am back in North Carolina. I can’t wait to hear my mom play the organ on Sunday. There is a huge international soccer game Monday in Charlotte. I’m playing Pinehurst # 2 Wednesday, one of the most difficult golf courses in the world. 

But I’ve also got visions of times of stillness: laying by a pool, reading a book, meditating out in nature, sitting quietly on the soccer field I played on both as a child and in college. 

It’s a fascinating new paradox in my life. Do I want to go-go-go, or do I want to slip into deep silence and stillness? Case in point is this article. I wanted to write on the plane, but I also wanted to meditate for the duration of the flight. 

—

I now know one thing for sure. If I wanted to experience life in its entirety, I had to learn how to be still. I’m still working on it, but it definitely makes the non-still moments that much more electric. 

For instance, on Wednesday I’ll probably be quiet for a few moments prior to teeing off. I’ll go deep. I’ll check out. And then I’ll come back, ready to tackle those devilish turtle back greens. 

I’ve got a personal best score to post, and I’m peacefully hellbent on doing so. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.

“I had never even heard of corn dogs filled with grilled shrimp. I didn’t know that was a thing.”-Benj

I started the golf journey six years and two months ago. As I have mentioned time and time again previously, I had no idea what I was doing because I had no idea what was even possible. I figured there would be massive tradeoffs involved, but I really had no idea. It wasn’t something I had ever done before. 

Soon enough, my suspicions were deemed one hundred percent accurate. There WOULD be massive tradeoffs, and there have been for the entirety of the six years and two months. 

—

On the very first page of the brochure to become a golf professional, the message is crystal clear: it’s going to be tons of fun and super rewarding, but it ain’t easy. If you want to be a really good one, it really ain’t gonna be easy. 

They weren’t joking. As such, there were going to be tradeoffs all over my life. If I wanted to practice, I wouldn’t be with my family. If I wanted to learn the trade, I wouldn’t be practicing. If I wanted to do my formal PGA work, I wouldn’t be doing anything else. If I wanted to learn how to teach and coach, I wouldn’t be playing. If I wanted to play, I wouldn’t be making any money. If I wanted to be with my family, I wouldn’t be practicing, and so on. This doesn’t even take in to consideration any of my other interests. Travel, writing, photography, sports card collecting…if I’m doing one of those, I’m not doing something else. 

My mentor told me early on that I’d have to figure it out, and boy, he was not joking either. Realistically, I would say it took me two to three years (and a brain break) to put the puzzle pieces together, but eventually that’s what I do. I figure it out. So last Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I had a wonderful opportunity, an opportunity to eliminate as many tradeoffs as possible for three beautiful days. 

—

Travel. Playing golf. Family. New place. Great food. New experience. Sports cards. Competition. Sunshine. How many of my favorite things could I have in one place without having to trade one off for another? 

We left as an entire family late morning last Sunday, headed towards Baton Rouge with a pit stop at The Superdome in New Orleans. There just happened to be a large sports card convention going on, and I had never been to one of those. After dropping the girls off at their favorite place aka Target, we jumped in to the world of cards, eager to see what gems might surface in New Orleans. I could barely keep track of my son he was so excited. I looked left, and he was talking to vendors. I looked right, and he was buying Jayson Tatums. I looked backwards, and he was thigh deep in Pokémon. I looked forwards and found a couple of beautiful cards for myself. 

Once everyone was smitten with their experience, we headed towards Baton Rouge and the highly recommended restaurant called Ruffino’s. Christy was nervous to take the kids as it put the fine in fine dining. But after about twenty minutes when the waitress said the kids could go over to the wood oven and literally make their own pizzas, we settled in quite nicely. The food and wine were A++, and the icing on the cake was the cotton candy they served for dessert. How unique! I asked the waitress about it, and she said the owner wanted customers to come there and celebrate life. 

For the morning and early afternoon of Monday and Tuesday, I was scheduled to play golf at CCofLA, the premier golf club in Louisiana. The course was beautiful, the club was beautiful, and the weather was absolutely perfect. I got to see many of my colleagues across the section and meet a few I had never met. I struggle with hard golf courses I’ve never played before, and that was indeed the case on day 1. I played much better on day 2, but nonetheless had a wonderful time. As much as I want to do well in these tournaments, if I’m outside in nature doing what I love to do, I’m good to go. 

The conundrum that second evening was twofold: where to eat and does anyone have any interest going to LSU’s do or die baseball game just down the street? Our hotel had an awesome lobby, so that answer became watch the game on television, let the kids swim, and DoorDash something awesome. 

I had never even heard of corn dogs filled with grilled shrimp. I didn’t know that was a thing.  Instead of a hot dog inside, it was filled with shrimp. Instead of dipping it in ketchup, you dipped it in spicy mustard. It was off the charts! Add in boudin queso, pork rinds, and crab and brie with tomato basil, this young (old) man was completely smitten. 

—

The only thing that I traded off during these three days was that I still haven’t played well enough to make any money. But honestly, that’s not an expectation of mine. If it ever happens, great. I’ll probably just go buy some more cool sports cards. If not, I’ll just continue to celebrate doing something that I love out in nature. 

I’ll also forevermore celebrate shrimp dogs. What a surprise, and what a treat. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.

I turned 43 last Sunday. Last year when I turned 42, I felt about 65. This year, I feel about 25. What happened? 

90% dedicated mindfulness work for fifteen minutes every single day. 10% keeping the body moving. 

Seriously, I haven’t missed a single day of the mindfulness work. It’s that important. 

I experience the world totally differently now than a year ago. Five years ago? Those experiences seem comical. 

A really tense situation happened the other day, and I just started laughing. A really beautiful situation happened the other day, and I just started crying. That’s how I know it’s working. 

My greatest achievement this year was being able to sit still, completely at ease. Hell, that may be the greatest achievement of my life. 

My biggest fear used to be loneliness, yet now my greatest pleasure is not being disturbed. 

I took an experiential class from Harvard Business School on happiness, and that was cool. 

I’m six weeks away from finishing the experiential Inner Engineering program designed by Sadhguru, and that’s really cool. 

I’m roughly eight months away from getting my full PGA membership, aka my PhD in Golf. When that happens, the celebration will be enormous. 

Book learning has never made any sense to me. 

Real life, experiential learning is where it’s at. 

If I were in charge, we’d teach physical fitness, meditation, and personal finance in school. 

Sunlight is the best medicine. Meditation is a close second. Meditation in the sunlight is paradise. 

There is nothing like being outside in nature. 

I can honestly say now that the most fun and rewarding thing is the process: the process of getting better at golf, the process of building my own business, the process of collecting rare sports cards…

Failing is an integral part of the process. 

My favorite thing about sports cards is sharing the time with my son. My second favorite thing is how beautiful the modern cards are. The third thing is negotiating the price at auction. 

Clothes, jewelry, sunglasses, shoes, and sports cards. That’s my art. 

But I also like actual art. 

After my brain exploded, I was scared to travel for a couple of months, but luckily that came and went. 

I’ve been to Dallas, Tampa, and Chattanooga in the past two months and had an absolute blast. 

The house we frequent just outside of Chattanooga is my sanctuary. However, I feel at home most anywhere now. 

I’m a big fan of reinventing myself as it is needed. At a minimum, a human being should evolve constantly. 

Monday is Daddy-Daughter Day. It’s so beautiful. Even though she’s wild, she’s softened me. She’s my little nugget. 

When Jayson Tatum tore his Achilles tendon, my son cried and cried. I love the passion. 

The time has come that I like teaching golf more than playing. But it’s not really about teaching golf, it’s about helping the person in front of me discover things about himself that he can improve. 

Don’t get it twisted. I still love to play. 

I have observed that most people have no idea what their true dreams and goals are. So I press and nudge and poke and prod and try to get them somewhere so the light bulb goes off. 

Wasted potential is my key driver. I personally do a lot, and I feel like I barely even scratch the surface of what I could actually do. 

I tell myself every day to work to overcome some limitation. 

I used to think freedom was doing whatever I want. I now know it is having the choice to do whatever I want. 

I was lifting weights and getting pretty damn strong, then my left shoulder popped. So that was that for a few weeks. 

My left shoulder and right ankle are weak, and I don’t get to see my son’s soccer games on the weekend. That’s really all I have to complain about anymore. 

Most of life is just a game. We make it so serious. 

Full throttle, learn ferociously, celebrate daily. That’s the current era of abk. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.

“I’ve been working diligently towards this day for eight months.”- Benj

Six years ago (and the 37 years prior), I misunderstood what freedom really was. I’ve always craved a life of freedom, as I believe every human does, but I made a lot of external changes that I thought would offer me freedom. New career, new geography, new opportunities, new life. Some of it worked. Some of it didn’t. For a few years there, I WAS free, or so I thought. 

Then, over the last few years, my activity went gangbusters, and I became bombarded with everything. Mostly good, just a lot, and I realized, it doesn’t matter what I do with my life or where I do it, I’m always going to be busy as shit building something or engaging with life. So as I’ve written about over the past few months, I needed to change my inner self to be able to handle all of the outer things I want to do. About eight months ago, I did, and I haven’t missed a single day since. 

The rewards are staggering. 

—

There is a subtle difference between freedom and true freedom, and there is a massive difference between change and transformation. Turns out, I was looking for true freedom and transformation all along. Not to change careers or geographies, but to drop the silly boundaries and limitations I had created for myself. 

Since nothing had truly worked in the preceding forty two years, eight months ago, I began my guided meditation and mindfulness exercises for roughly fifteen minutes a day, and the transformation began.  The first few weeks were a little wild, but then I settled in and started feeling a calmness, stillness, and relaxation that I had never experienced. To say I was pleased would be an understatement. Everything in my life was exactly the same on the outside, but my reactions and perceptions began to be totally different. 

It was a gradual process, so let me explain. 

—

Last Tuesday, I experienced total joy for the entire day. Not an ounce of stress, agitation, or any other negative emotion. 

First thing, I had to take my three year old daughter to school, and she woke up fussing and fighting. A year ago that would have agitated me. Tuesday, I actually found myself laughing. After I dropped her off, I had about twenty minutes to spare before a doctor’s appointment. So I sat quietly and did my morning meditation right there in the parking lot. I might as well have been high when I entered the doctor’s office. They took my vitals, and I told the doctor that I felt the best I have ever felt in almost 43 years of life. She said everything looks perfect, so I left. I then drove about 45 minutes to Fallen Oak Golf Club, an exclusive club down on the Gulf Coast, for a match play event against one of my fellow professionals. I made three birdies in my first seven holes to grab a front nine lead, but I eventually got beat on the 17th hole. I wasn’t pissed, even slightly. I was grateful that I was playing high level golf at a beautiful course on a Tuesday midday. 

To say I was hungry right after the match was an understatement. I was hangry, but without the angry. It was a new feeling as I sat patiently waiting amongst the million people that always seem to be at Chick-Fil-A. As much as I try not to woof down food now, it was gone in about 2.4 seconds. Nourished again, I turned on the Arsenal-PSG Champions League match and texted with my buddy Junior before drifting off into oblivion. It was 4pm. 

I awoke when it was time to go to my son’s basketball game at 6pm. He has been working a ton at being more aggressive, and he just did a wonderful job. During the 3rd quarter I believe, just sitting quietly in the stands, I felt tears of immense pride in my eyes. That was different.  We ended the night with a family sushi celebration meal, and I may have overeaten with excitement. After feeling an overfull belly in the middle of the night, I woke up with a new understanding. 

Light and loose is a fantastic feeling. Full and heavy is less than desirable. I get it now, and I felt it for an entire day. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

Join the abk community!

Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.