…And what is the goal of yoga? Consciously take on the whole load once again. And now it no longer feels like a load.– Sadhguru
First off, Happy New Year everyone. I have no resolution because, honestly, my new year started September 1st of last year, not January 1st. Because of whatever happened to me a few months ago, the next chapter of my life started September 1st.
September was weird and scary. October was better, but still sketchy. November showed marked improvement. December got me close. Now, I’m back (and arguably better, or different, than ever).
During this time of uncertainty and progress, I waded slowly back into the water of life. I took trips to Charlotte, the mountains, and New Orleans, among others. They were unique experiences as I was not yet back on solid ground. But I’m not built to live under the covers scared. I’m built to test limits.
Some time in September, I started exploring life deeper through yoga and meditativeness. Four months into this new endeavor, I know I have chosen the right path for me.
Though I still don’t know exactly what happened, it surely had something to do with too many outside interests and activities and not enough inner cleansing. Put another way, to do all of the things that I do and want to do, Mountain Dew does not need to be my base. Water does. Biscuits and gravy don’t need to be my base. Fruits and vegetables do. Noise doesn’t need to be my base. Quiet does.
We live in a very noisy world, though I thought I made some changes 6-8 years ago that helped combat this noise. Turns out, even in coastal Mississippi, without the appropriate discipline and care, it can be noisy as hell. Especially when you are on a journey as voracious as mine.
I thought the noise caught up with me, but actually I think the lack of appropriate self care is what got me. Now that I feel like myself again and even better, I’m hellbent on heading back out into the noise. I just need to take decisive, specific, daily steps to allow my system to handle it.
I’ve been doing quiet time every day for 4 months now. I feel great, and I’m as intrigued as ever. I also feel a little dopey. Why didn’t I do this earlier? Why is this not taught to every kid in school?
All I’m looking for is enough energy to handle all of the going and doing. All I’m looking for is enough mental and emotional quiet to handle all of the going and doing. All I’m looking for is a body capable enough to handle all of the going and doing. (For now. I know I will eventually be looking for more.)
It all starts from a place of quiet. It all starts from being able to relax, something that I’ve rarely been able to do. Have fun? Yes. Relax? Ehhh…
I’ve relaxed more in the last two months than I may have in my entire life. For me, it’s a practiced skill, and one I need to work on daily if I want to continue on this journey full throttle.
So September started my new year, not January 1. But Happy New Year, anyways. It’s going to be a good one. Or should I say, a different one.
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Have a great week.-Benj
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