As I’ve written before, I used to love my trips as a child with my father. We went plenty of places, but the ones that stick out most were to New York City. Inexplicably, when I got a certain age (still a kid in my book), he let me roam free. But never, ever, to my knowledge, did I buy something of any value without his permission. 

So this is where the paths begin to differ. 

—

My ten year old son and I just completed our 4th Annual Father Son Labor Day Sports Trip. The first year we went to Detroit. The second year we went to Los Angeles. The third year we went to San Francisco. This year? My son’s beloved Boston, Massachusetts. On this year’s trip, I instituted a new rule: no screens for him and minimal screens (taking pictures, etc) for me. I was hyped. He behaved like a child, and I mean that in a great way. He behaved like a kid, alive and present in this world. 

…and a little mischievous. 

—

We had no sooner arrived inside Alumni Stadium at Boston College than I had lost my son. Thirty seconds in, and he was gone. I looked right and left and eventually spotted him by a table under the bleachers. Curious as ever, I meandered over to find him writing Banks Bostic opening bid $125 on a sheet of paper under a framed picture. The picture, which he later likened to the Mona Lisa, was a giant framed photograph of his beloved Jayson Tatum dunking over LeBron James. My son was well pleased. I immediately began thinking about how we would transport this item home if he won. Totally engaged in the process, my son got outbid but then re-bid and eventually won, snagging the framed photo for $155. Unconcerned about where this money was coming from or how the picture was getting home, he said, Dad, this is going to look great in the sports room.

—

Later that evening at Gillette Stadium, the weather turned a little nippy. We were both excited for the game between the New England Revolution and my beloved Charlotte FC, and I was rocking my new authentic Charlotte FC jersey for the first time. Fast forward to the 87th minute of a tied game, and Charlotte FC scored on a thundering header to win the game 2-1. This all happened right in front of where we were sitting, so moments later when the final whistle blew, my son began screaming at me to take my jersey off. I screamed back that I was already freezing, but he was hellbent on getting my only once-worn jersey autographed by someone. Sure enough, the rock of the Charlotte FC defense during their eight game win streak came over all smiles, had a chat with us, and signed my jersey. My son was well pleased, but I politely asked him to give me my now autographed jersey back since I was shivering. 

I couldn’t imagine what was in store next. 

—

The following morning brought sunshine and heat again, but not Mississippi heat. Boston heat. It was Sunday at Fenway, and after the game Banks planned on completing his holy trinity of base running: Dodger Stadium, Wrigley Field, and now Fenway Park. We met up with some of our old friends who now live in the area, and the six of us enjoyed a beautiful afternoon in the right field bleachers at Fenway Park. Unbelievably, we even saw an inside the park home run!  After the game, all the kids gathered on the field and slowly inched towards the infield to begin their base running extravaganza. As we waited around the infamous Pesky’s Pole in right field, I saw my son climb up on the fence, and I wondered what in the hell he was doing. Prior to the security guard running over to shoo him down, he may or may not have joined the legions of others who have autographed Pesky’s Pole. (I am not at liberty to say whether this actually happened.)

My son did not like being yelled at, but deep down, I think he was well pleased. 

—

I remember clearly the freedom that I felt being able to roam about New York City as a child. I saw a little glimpse of that with my son this trip in Boston. He already loved the city, and now, well…

…we got an autograph to bring back to coastal Mississippi, and he may have left one in Boston to remain forever. Or at least until they repaint the foul pole. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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If you had told me ten years ago that an ideal summer for me would include rooftop pools in New Orleans, hosting sold out junior golf camps, and sitting in the presence of an Indian mystic, I’d have said you were nuts. 

But once again, here we are: a summer characterized in part by all the things I did matched beautifully with endless hours of sitting perfectly still. 

The summer of 2025…shall we dive in?

—

First off, we got a beautiful new member of the family: Macy. Second, my son and I went to our first ever card show. Third, and potentially most importantly, I finished my Inner Engineering experience and sat for a full day with an Indian mystic. (Yes, that happened.) And last, I did some normal summer stuff, if there are such things anymore. 

—

It makes me giggle to wonder if the following places were on anyone else’s summer travel list: Baton Rouge, New Orleans, Tupelo, Lake Charles, Charlotte, Wingate, and Pinehurst. Likely not, but after having experienced it as my travel list, the only one I’d reconsider next time give the circumstances would be Lake Charles. How was I to know that I would get caught up in a police chase and four hours would turn into seven? But I digress. 

I played three competitive golf tournaments this summer. In two, I stunk it up, but in the other, I shot my best two day score ever along the now almost six and a half year golf journey. I also got to play the venerable Pinehurst #2 for the fifth time, always a treat, and this time was no different. 

But as far as golf is concerned, my most memorable thing from the summer may be hosting the Inaugural Shell Landing Family Cup. All of the juniors that I teach got to pick a parent or other adult to play with, and then we finished up summer camp with a kid/adult scramble followed by a big party. After getting all of my administrative duties out of the way, I played with my son, and it was just magical. 51 players plus grandparents, aunts, and uncles…that’s a lot of hot dogs after!

—

It was a welcome experience to go back home for about five days to see my family, friends, and swim in my sister’s pool. I got to hear my mother play the organ, watch an international soccer game, see some familiar sights, and visit with a wide variety of friends. One person that I didn’t get to see but wasn’t bothered by was Caveman, my close childhood friend of forty years. I wasn’t bothered because he was coming to see me the following week!

It is still an unusual experience living amongst Airbnb’s, but there is a massive benefit when friends come to visit. They literally stay next door. Caveman and his family rolled in, and it was business as usual. No warmup needed even if we haven’t seen each other in two years. Straight to it, hugging, talking, and laughing. We could have done nothing and been happy as clams. Honestly, we almost did do nothing, and it was beautiful. 

—

All of the yoga, meditation, and breath work has truly transformed how I see and experience life. I had no idea what to expect, and every day something new and exciting pops up. The one thing I wasn’t expecting was that my need for food would be reduced. Over the past few months I’ve gone from three to four meals per day to only two, with plenty of energy to spare. 

I mention this only because I can’t make it through this entire post about the summer without mentioning the cuisine. As someone who appreciates flavor in all things life, it’s quite important. The standouts ranged from fresh cannolis in New Orleans to some crazy ramen dish in Tupelo. Hole in the wall burgers in North Carolina to hole in the wall ribeyes out in lala land. The list is endless, just not as endless as it once was. 

I still appreciate the flavors. I just don’t need quite as much. And that pretty much sums up my summer. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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I’m on a flight right now from Mississippi to North Carolina. A very delayed flight I might add. It’s now scheduled to land at 11:05pm in Charlotte. I awoke this morning at 4:30 am. 

I’ve travelled every week this month. First, my entire family joined me in Baton Rouge for a couple of days centered around a golf tournament I played. Next, my son, daughter, and new dog joined me in New Orleans for a little hotel, pool, and food extravaganza. Last week, my boss joined me in Tupelo for another golf tournament. 

And now, I’m off again. I would say it’s for vacation, but honestly I play when I work and I work when I play, so I don’t think there is such a thing for me. 

—

For the past three to six months, I’ve consciously done something I had never done before: go a million miles a minute but make sure that I’m deeply still a couple of times each day.

It’s been a beautiful and refreshing experience. The list of things I want to do in my life and the things required to actually do them takes an absolute minimum of twelve hours per day and oodles of energy. I learned last year that if I didn’t incorporate some daily cleansing via stillness, I might become a disaster, or worse. 

So for 15-30 minutes per day, I go into deep silence and stillness. It is an intoxicating experience, and that seems to be plenty of time to provide me the energy and clarity needed to tackle my life’s interests. I require less sleep and way less food, yet I’m genuinely living more life than I ever have. 

—

I have a zillion people I would love to see while I am back in North Carolina. I can’t wait to hear my mom play the organ on Sunday. There is a huge international soccer game Monday in Charlotte. I’m playing Pinehurst # 2 Wednesday, one of the most difficult golf courses in the world. 

But I’ve also got visions of times of stillness: laying by a pool, reading a book, meditating out in nature, sitting quietly on the soccer field I played on both as a child and in college. 

It’s a fascinating new paradox in my life. Do I want to go-go-go, or do I want to slip into deep silence and stillness? Case in point is this article. I wanted to write on the plane, but I also wanted to meditate for the duration of the flight. 

—

I now know one thing for sure. If I wanted to experience life in its entirety, I had to learn how to be still. I’m still working on it, but it definitely makes the non-still moments that much more electric. 

For instance, on Wednesday I’ll probably be quiet for a few moments prior to teeing off. I’ll go deep. I’ll check out. And then I’ll come back, ready to tackle those devilish turtle back greens. 

I’ve got a personal best score to post, and I’m peacefully hellbent on doing so. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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“I had never even heard of corn dogs filled with grilled shrimp. I didn’t know that was a thing.”-Benj

I started the golf journey six years and two months ago. As I have mentioned time and time again previously, I had no idea what I was doing because I had no idea what was even possible. I figured there would be massive tradeoffs involved, but I really had no idea. It wasn’t something I had ever done before. 

Soon enough, my suspicions were deemed one hundred percent accurate. There WOULD be massive tradeoffs, and there have been for the entirety of the six years and two months. 

—

On the very first page of the brochure to become a golf professional, the message is crystal clear: it’s going to be tons of fun and super rewarding, but it ain’t easy. If you want to be a really good one, it really ain’t gonna be easy. 

They weren’t joking. As such, there were going to be tradeoffs all over my life. If I wanted to practice, I wouldn’t be with my family. If I wanted to learn the trade, I wouldn’t be practicing. If I wanted to do my formal PGA work, I wouldn’t be doing anything else. If I wanted to learn how to teach and coach, I wouldn’t be playing. If I wanted to play, I wouldn’t be making any money. If I wanted to be with my family, I wouldn’t be practicing, and so on. This doesn’t even take in to consideration any of my other interests. Travel, writing, photography, sports card collecting…if I’m doing one of those, I’m not doing something else. 

My mentor told me early on that I’d have to figure it out, and boy, he was not joking either. Realistically, I would say it took me two to three years (and a brain break) to put the puzzle pieces together, but eventually that’s what I do. I figure it out. So last Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday I had a wonderful opportunity, an opportunity to eliminate as many tradeoffs as possible for three beautiful days. 

—

Travel. Playing golf. Family. New place. Great food. New experience. Sports cards. Competition. Sunshine. How many of my favorite things could I have in one place without having to trade one off for another? 

We left as an entire family late morning last Sunday, headed towards Baton Rouge with a pit stop at The Superdome in New Orleans. There just happened to be a large sports card convention going on, and I had never been to one of those. After dropping the girls off at their favorite place aka Target, we jumped in to the world of cards, eager to see what gems might surface in New Orleans. I could barely keep track of my son he was so excited. I looked left, and he was talking to vendors. I looked right, and he was buying Jayson Tatums. I looked backwards, and he was thigh deep in Pokémon. I looked forwards and found a couple of beautiful cards for myself. 

Once everyone was smitten with their experience, we headed towards Baton Rouge and the highly recommended restaurant called Ruffino’s. Christy was nervous to take the kids as it put the fine in fine dining. But after about twenty minutes when the waitress said the kids could go over to the wood oven and literally make their own pizzas, we settled in quite nicely. The food and wine were A++, and the icing on the cake was the cotton candy they served for dessert. How unique! I asked the waitress about it, and she said the owner wanted customers to come there and celebrate life. 

For the morning and early afternoon of Monday and Tuesday, I was scheduled to play golf at CCofLA, the premier golf club in Louisiana. The course was beautiful, the club was beautiful, and the weather was absolutely perfect. I got to see many of my colleagues across the section and meet a few I had never met. I struggle with hard golf courses I’ve never played before, and that was indeed the case on day 1. I played much better on day 2, but nonetheless had a wonderful time. As much as I want to do well in these tournaments, if I’m outside in nature doing what I love to do, I’m good to go. 

The conundrum that second evening was twofold: where to eat and does anyone have any interest going to LSU’s do or die baseball game just down the street? Our hotel had an awesome lobby, so that answer became watch the game on television, let the kids swim, and DoorDash something awesome. 

I had never even heard of corn dogs filled with grilled shrimp. I didn’t know that was a thing.  Instead of a hot dog inside, it was filled with shrimp. Instead of dipping it in ketchup, you dipped it in spicy mustard. It was off the charts! Add in boudin queso, pork rinds, and crab and brie with tomato basil, this young (old) man was completely smitten. 

—

The only thing that I traded off during these three days was that I still haven’t played well enough to make any money. But honestly, that’s not an expectation of mine. If it ever happens, great. I’ll probably just go buy some more cool sports cards. If not, I’ll just continue to celebrate doing something that I love out in nature. 

I’ll also forevermore celebrate shrimp dogs. What a surprise, and what a treat. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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I turned 43 last Sunday. Last year when I turned 42, I felt about 65. This year, I feel about 25. What happened? 

90% dedicated mindfulness work for fifteen minutes every single day. 10% keeping the body moving. 

Seriously, I haven’t missed a single day of the mindfulness work. It’s that important. 

I experience the world totally differently now than a year ago. Five years ago? Those experiences seem comical. 

A really tense situation happened the other day, and I just started laughing. A really beautiful situation happened the other day, and I just started crying. That’s how I know it’s working. 

My greatest achievement this year was being able to sit still, completely at ease. Hell, that may be the greatest achievement of my life. 

My biggest fear used to be loneliness, yet now my greatest pleasure is not being disturbed. 

I took an experiential class from Harvard Business School on happiness, and that was cool. 

I’m six weeks away from finishing the experiential Inner Engineering program designed by Sadhguru, and that’s really cool. 

I’m roughly eight months away from getting my full PGA membership, aka my PhD in Golf. When that happens, the celebration will be enormous. 

Book learning has never made any sense to me. 

Real life, experiential learning is where it’s at. 

If I were in charge, we’d teach physical fitness, meditation, and personal finance in school. 

Sunlight is the best medicine. Meditation is a close second. Meditation in the sunlight is paradise. 

There is nothing like being outside in nature. 

I can honestly say now that the most fun and rewarding thing is the process: the process of getting better at golf, the process of building my own business, the process of collecting rare sports cards…

Failing is an integral part of the process. 

My favorite thing about sports cards is sharing the time with my son. My second favorite thing is how beautiful the modern cards are. The third thing is negotiating the price at auction. 

Clothes, jewelry, sunglasses, shoes, and sports cards. That’s my art. 

But I also like actual art. 

After my brain exploded, I was scared to travel for a couple of months, but luckily that came and went. 

I’ve been to Dallas, Tampa, and Chattanooga in the past two months and had an absolute blast. 

The house we frequent just outside of Chattanooga is my sanctuary. However, I feel at home most anywhere now. 

I’m a big fan of reinventing myself as it is needed. At a minimum, a human being should evolve constantly. 

Monday is Daddy-Daughter Day. It’s so beautiful. Even though she’s wild, she’s softened me. She’s my little nugget. 

When Jayson Tatum tore his Achilles tendon, my son cried and cried. I love the passion. 

The time has come that I like teaching golf more than playing. But it’s not really about teaching golf, it’s about helping the person in front of me discover things about himself that he can improve. 

Don’t get it twisted. I still love to play. 

I have observed that most people have no idea what their true dreams and goals are. So I press and nudge and poke and prod and try to get them somewhere so the light bulb goes off. 

Wasted potential is my key driver. I personally do a lot, and I feel like I barely even scratch the surface of what I could actually do. 

I tell myself every day to work to overcome some limitation. 

I used to think freedom was doing whatever I want. I now know it is having the choice to do whatever I want. 

I was lifting weights and getting pretty damn strong, then my left shoulder popped. So that was that for a few weeks. 

My left shoulder and right ankle are weak, and I don’t get to see my son’s soccer games on the weekend. That’s really all I have to complain about anymore. 

Most of life is just a game. We make it so serious. 

Full throttle, learn ferociously, celebrate daily. That’s the current era of abk. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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“I’ve been working diligently towards this day for eight months.”- Benj

Six years ago (and the 37 years prior), I misunderstood what freedom really was. I’ve always craved a life of freedom, as I believe every human does, but I made a lot of external changes that I thought would offer me freedom. New career, new geography, new opportunities, new life. Some of it worked. Some of it didn’t. For a few years there, I WAS free, or so I thought. 

Then, over the last few years, my activity went gangbusters, and I became bombarded with everything. Mostly good, just a lot, and I realized, it doesn’t matter what I do with my life or where I do it, I’m always going to be busy as shit building something or engaging with life. So as I’ve written about over the past few months, I needed to change my inner self to be able to handle all of the outer things I want to do. About eight months ago, I did, and I haven’t missed a single day since. 

The rewards are staggering. 

—

There is a subtle difference between freedom and true freedom, and there is a massive difference between change and transformation. Turns out, I was looking for true freedom and transformation all along. Not to change careers or geographies, but to drop the silly boundaries and limitations I had created for myself. 

Since nothing had truly worked in the preceding forty two years, eight months ago, I began my guided meditation and mindfulness exercises for roughly fifteen minutes a day, and the transformation began.  The first few weeks were a little wild, but then I settled in and started feeling a calmness, stillness, and relaxation that I had never experienced. To say I was pleased would be an understatement. Everything in my life was exactly the same on the outside, but my reactions and perceptions began to be totally different. 

It was a gradual process, so let me explain. 

—

Last Tuesday, I experienced total joy for the entire day. Not an ounce of stress, agitation, or any other negative emotion. 

First thing, I had to take my three year old daughter to school, and she woke up fussing and fighting. A year ago that would have agitated me. Tuesday, I actually found myself laughing. After I dropped her off, I had about twenty minutes to spare before a doctor’s appointment. So I sat quietly and did my morning meditation right there in the parking lot. I might as well have been high when I entered the doctor’s office. They took my vitals, and I told the doctor that I felt the best I have ever felt in almost 43 years of life. She said everything looks perfect, so I left. I then drove about 45 minutes to Fallen Oak Golf Club, an exclusive club down on the Gulf Coast, for a match play event against one of my fellow professionals. I made three birdies in my first seven holes to grab a front nine lead, but I eventually got beat on the 17th hole. I wasn’t pissed, even slightly. I was grateful that I was playing high level golf at a beautiful course on a Tuesday midday. 

To say I was hungry right after the match was an understatement. I was hangry, but without the angry. It was a new feeling as I sat patiently waiting amongst the million people that always seem to be at Chick-Fil-A. As much as I try not to woof down food now, it was gone in about 2.4 seconds. Nourished again, I turned on the Arsenal-PSG Champions League match and texted with my buddy Junior before drifting off into oblivion. It was 4pm. 

I awoke when it was time to go to my son’s basketball game at 6pm. He has been working a ton at being more aggressive, and he just did a wonderful job. During the 3rd quarter I believe, just sitting quietly in the stands, I felt tears of immense pride in my eyes. That was different.  We ended the night with a family sushi celebration meal, and I may have overeaten with excitement. After feeling an overfull belly in the middle of the night, I woke up with a new understanding. 

Light and loose is a fantastic feeling. Full and heavy is less than desirable. I get it now, and I felt it for an entire day. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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I will be the first to tell you that I love being outside. But I also love the entertainment that is an NBA basketball game, and unfortunately, those games are played inside. On the last day of the NBA regular season, let’s reflect on some memorable arena nights recently. 

—

Mainly because of an absurd number of injuries, my New Orleans Pelicans stunk this year. On the complete other end of the spectrum, my son’s Boston Celtics are contenders for another NBA title. Regardless, I follow the Pelicans like a hawk, and my son does the same for the Celtics.

New to the story is my now three year old daughter, itching to travel, visit New Orleans, and find out who the hell Zion Williamson is. 

—

A couple of Monday’s ago, I told Christy that I was considering taking CW to her first NBA game. CW was hyped. Christy was supportive as that meant a peaceful night at home for her. My son was furious. 

Everyone had their say but eventually the decision was made. Dad and two kids would take on New Orleans. Mom would rest and drink wine. 

My son is a devout rule follower, but my daughter is the complete opposite. When I say she doesn’t give a flying flip, I mean she doesn’t give a flying flip. When she got dressed for the game, her obvious choice was a pink sparkly jacket. Why not? Throw in some cool Elton John shades and she might as well own New Orleans. Funky is what I call her. Funky is what she is. 

She was greeted warmly by the Pelicans cheerleaders, who loved her jacket. She was then greeted not so warmly by an usher who told her to quit misbehaving. (The first thing she did was spill her drink on my shoes and turn flips on the aisle rail.)

Soon enough, we settled in and enjoyed a memorable evening. Banks was a superb big brother and was rewarded by catching Pelicans player Kelly Olynyk’s headband after the game. Little did he know he was about to be rewarded again. 

—

The following Monday, I had to be in central Mississippi for a golf event. Central Mississippi is about three hours from Memphis, and I’ll be damned if his Boston Celtics weren’t playing the Memphis Grizzlies that night in Memphis. The abk wheels started turning immediately. We’ve seen the Celtics play in Charlotte, Boston, Atlanta, and Houston, but not Memphis. 

However, we’ve been to Memphis, and we really enjoyed it, so the agreement was quick. Barbecue nachos, barbecue spaghetti, incredible music, and this time…my son discovered the Grizz Girls. 

Dressed in his full Celtics uniform per usual, he sauntered into the FedEx Forum, playfully talking smack to young Grizzlies fans. With a 60-20 record, he’s confident as hell.  We devoured the nachos from world famous Rendezvous, the Memphis music hit differently, and the Celtics lit it up. And those Grizz Girls…well, my son is growing up. 

—

We had roughly fifteen to twenty arena nights this season, massive celebrations of family, culture, food and ball. It was an odd year given all the injuries and the subsequent terrible play of my Pelicans, but nonetheless I enjoyed every second. 

I am learning to celebrate life daily and  nightly, and I’m doing a pretty job of it. It doesn’t have to be at an arena, but especially those cooler nights during the winter, an NBA arena is my spot. 

But now it’s spring, and the arena, (at least the New Orleans arena) is closed. So it’s ballpark time, an equally acceptable place for a nightly celebration. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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In the center of my weekly to-do sheet, I have the following written: Full throttle, learn ferociously, celebrate daily. I haven’t yet adopted it as an official motto, but in the current version of abk, it definitely has me on the right path. 

—

Christy and I spent last week in Frisco, Texas. I was at the PGA headquarters learning.  Christy wanted to get away from kids. We were both successful. 

Though I began dabbling with the above mantra a week or two prior, I decided to put it into practice last week. At the office, I would be surrounded by literally the best of the best people and facilities, and at night the world was our oyster. 

— 

Full throttle means living. Actually living. Not going through the motions. Not going through the habits. Going hard. Going full but not reckless. To me, it means being worn out at the end of every day because I did all the things I wanted to do that day, maybe more. 

Every day in Frisco, I woke up and said full throttle. Each day I would learn, teach, coach, observe, ask questions, and play golf. Each day I would explore the area and find something new and exciting. Each day I would talk to someone new. Each day I would explore a new food or drink. When it was time to go to bed, I would be empty, not full, and start over again the next day. 

—

If there is one single aspect of my life more important than another, it is keeping my brain sharp. If my mental capacity and intellect are not being challenged, it’s no bueno. Hence, learn ferociously. 

Traveling and the game of golf offer the opportunity for lifelong learning, and I’m sure that’s why I’m drawn to both of them. I cannot tell you how much I learned from the masters who were teaching us last week, but I will say this. I am not a note taker, and I took five plus full pages of notes. Ideas, thoughts, things that I can implement. 

You know what one of those was straight from the CEO of the PGA? Learn ferociously. 

—

The idea of celebrating daily is centuries old, but sometimes I think it has been forgotten. My idea of celebrating daily typically revolves around a cool experience of dinner, though it sometimes takes other forms. 

Last week, when the work was done (though I don’t really consider it work), the play began, and the stomach started growling. When the worst meal of the week is In-N-Out Burger, you know you are on to something. 

But it wasn’t just the food. Card shops, new technologies, sporting venues, and other creative outlets. I felt like I was living again. 

—

Every time I get on my jet ski, I can’t wait to go full throttle. Every time I get on my son’s electric scooter, I can’t wait to go full throttle. Every day I wake up now, I can’t wait to go full throttle. 

And meditation + full throttle = really, really good.

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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“The purpose of life is to FULLY live it.”-abk

The last two entries have been Debbie Downers. True, real life happenings along the journey, but Debbie Downers nonetheless. I feel like I am 99% recovered in most aspects, and 125% in many others. 

So, to get the vibe back on track, what should we discuss today? Should we discuss my parents coming to town and my mom and me going tit for tat over spicy shrimp and grits? Should we discuss the bizarro snowstorm that dropped ten inches of snow on the Mississippi Gulf Coast?  Should we discuss watching Boston Celtics god and my son’s favorite player Jayson Tatum drain a buzzer beater right in front of our eyes? Should we discuss my passing Level 2 of the PGA, aka getting closer to that elusive PhD in golf?  Or maybe we should discuss the deer that jumped out in front of my car early Saturday morning, taking my Lexus sign and front left headlight with it?

(Maybe now you can see why my brain broke.)

—

I’m as light and relaxed as I have ever been in my life.  For the vast majority of my life, the above five recent happenings would have elicited any number of responses centered around fun, coolness, or annoyance, but little true emotion.  As I’ve been meditating more and more and really paying attention to life, little glimpses have turned into real, full-fledged emotion, and, wait for it, I can hardly contain my excitement. 

The guide along my recent journey asks the question, How many hours each day are you truly joyful? and that resonated with me. Happy? Maybe a couple. Joyful? Yikes. Ever an entire day?

So I went to work. 

—

Watching my mom sweat as she tried to finish those hot sauce infused shrimp and grits filled my belly with laughter. Watching the kids play in the snow and joining them myself was pure magic. Watching Tatum drain that buzzer beater and then watching my son watch Tatum filled me with unbridled joy. Submitting level 2, taking the test, and getting the Passed notification gave me relief, happiness, and pride. 

And what about that pesky deer?

I love nature. I love animals. I would never want to hurt anything. But on the way to work about 5:45am Saturday morning, this joker jumped out of the woods and directly into the front of my car in the pitch black. This had never happened to me, so I didn’t know what to do. I was fine, the deer went flying, maybe my car would be fine? I pulled in to work and tried to open my door, and it would not open. I finally got out and surveyed the scene and oooff! No bueno. Historically, at a minimum, I would have been agitated all day. Saturday, I just laughed and laughed and laughed all day. When I told all of my peoples that a deer and I had a run in, they thought I had taken up hunting. 

Me? Come on. 

—

I’m off to Texas next week, ready to go full throttle. Learning by day, playing by night, and meditating here, there, and everywhere. 

Full throttle, but on the lookout for those crazy deer. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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…And what is the goal of yoga? Consciously take on the whole load once again. And now it no longer feels like a load.– Sadhguru

First off, Happy New Year everyone. I have no resolution because, honestly, my new year started September 1st of last year, not January 1st. Because of whatever happened to me a few months ago, the next chapter of my life started September 1st. 

September was weird and scary. October was better, but still sketchy. November showed marked improvement. December got me close. Now, I’m back (and arguably better, or different, than ever). 

During this time of uncertainty and progress, I waded slowly back into the water of life. I took trips to Charlotte, the mountains, and New Orleans, among others. They were unique experiences as I was not yet back on solid ground. But I’m not built to live under the covers scared. I’m built to test limits. 

Some time in September, I started exploring life deeper through yoga and meditativeness. Four months into this new endeavor, I know I have chosen the right path for me. 

Though I still don’t know exactly what happened, it surely had something to do with too many outside interests and activities and not enough inner cleansing. Put another way, to do all of the things that I do and want to do, Mountain Dew does not need to be my base. Water does. Biscuits and gravy don’t need to be my base. Fruits and vegetables do. Noise doesn’t need to be my base. Quiet does. 

We live in a very noisy world, though I thought I made some changes 6-8 years ago that helped combat this noise. Turns out, even in coastal Mississippi, without the appropriate discipline and care, it can be noisy as hell. Especially when you are on a journey as voracious as mine.

I thought the noise caught up with me, but actually I think the lack of appropriate self care is what got me. Now that I feel like myself again and even better, I’m hellbent on heading back out into the noise. I just need to take decisive, specific, daily steps to allow my system to handle it. 

I’ve been doing quiet time every day for 4 months now. I feel great, and I’m as intrigued as ever. I also feel a little dopey. Why didn’t I do this earlier?  Why is this not taught to every kid in school?

All I’m looking for is enough energy to handle all of the going and doing. All I’m looking for is enough mental and emotional quiet to handle all of the going and doing. All I’m looking for is a body capable enough to handle all of the going and doing. (For now. I know I will eventually be looking for more.)

It all starts from a place of quiet. It all starts from being able to relax, something that I’ve rarely been able to do. Have fun? Yes. Relax? Ehhh…

I’ve relaxed more in the last two months than I may have in my entire life. For me, it’s a practiced skill, and one I need to work on daily if I want to continue on this journey full throttle. 

So September started my new year, not January 1. But Happy New Year, anyways. It’s going to be a good one. Or should I say, a different one. 

—

Have a great week.-Benj

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Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis, @abkgolf, and @anythingbutkhakisphotography.

If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.