Building a Perfectly Imperfect Foundation: Four Years of No Days Off

“If you are willing to drop the ideas, philosophies, and belief systems you are currently attached to, you can re-create your entire life with the very next moment.”-Inner Management, Sadhguru

In an effort to take full charge of my life and maximize the possibilities of my entire existence, over the past 1,461 days, I decided to go full bore. If I found something that interested me, I pursued it. If I felt a curiosity, I peeked around the corner. If a self-made limit needed to be pushed, I pushed it. If some PC BS needed to be squashed, I squashed it. If I felt fear, I tried to overcome it. If I felt nervous, I tried to understand why. If an idea, philosophy, or belief system needed to be dropped, I dropped it. If I encountered someone who had the real want to to get better, I took a real interest. If a below-the-surface personal issue needed to be worked on, I got to work.

I went full bore, and I engaged with life in its entirety. No specific category. No specific agenda. Just life. The limitless journey. The whole creative process.

Chapter 1 of anything but khakis®️started May 15, 2017 from the white sand of Destin, Florida. Chapter 5 began May 15, 2021 from the Far West Texas creative outpost of Marfa, TX. In between, I did a lot, and I did it every day. I wrote exactly 200 articles about what I did, saw, thought, and felt. You might have read one or 200 of them. I hope something, anything, resonated just a little.

abk is about a lot of things, but at the heart of it is the human journey to get better. Not perfect, but better. Massive difference.

On the surface, there was a literal travel journey that saw me log hundreds of thousands of miles to who knows where. There was and is a golf journey that thoroughly re-engaged me with life. There were relationship journeys, a beautiful parenting journey, a building this unique lifestyle journey. Most important was the often ignored journey of self.

My previous personal poison was perfectionism (PPPP), versus just living. I expected it of myself always. I expected it of others sometimes. It may sound like an admirable aspiration, but I can assure you it is no way to attempt life. To self, it is unattainable. To others, it can be annoying, I’m sure.

This journey of trial and error, numerous life lessons, and new experiences has helped. Making left turns has humbled me. Trying to build abk has humbled me. Learning how to play golf well has humbled me. Starting over has humbled me.

One day, my son got mad at something and started yelling. I calmly asked him if he ever heard daddy yelling. He immediately replied, “yes, but only at yourself, at the golf course”. That humbled me.

I’ve written extensively about my efforts to relax and just live. To not necessarily lower my standards, no. Maybe even raise them in some circumstances. But to be nicer to myself if I don’t meet my own lofty demands or if The Universe has other plans for me. That’s been a very freeing journey.

To be intense and relaxed at the same time, consistently, is a personal aspiration. To be physically fit, intellectually sharp, more emotionally available, and full of positive energy. To experience joy in all of these processes instead of seeking perfection. It’s okay to be human. It’s good to be human.

I owe a debt of gratitude to so many people. Hundreds, if not more. It’s ironic how many wonderful people who are on their own journeys have been a huge part of this journey of self. My hope is that abk helped you a little also.

I turned 39 yesterday, and Chapters 1-4 are now complete. Chapter 5 is going to be very, very different. But I like different. It’s how I experience life. I’m playing in my first real, serious golf tournament in June, I start a new golf job in July where I have so much I want to do, and I’m going to be a father again (Girl Power!) in September.

As I have been advised by my boss/teacher, I can take this wherever I want to take it, as far as I want to take it. It’s on me to own it. #abk

I end Chapters 1-4 and begin Chapter 5 with three of my favorite learnings from the journey so far.

1. My whole life experience revolves around creativity, variety, and freedom. Those three things cannot be stifled. They must thrive. It’s literally who I am.

2. Living outside, in nature, every single day is a completely different existence from constantly being inside.

3. And in the greatest abk irony in the history of abk ironies…though having children in theory limits freedom, I have found parenting with Christy (based heavily on anti-perfectionism and freedom) to be my most favorite thing ever. It took a minute, but the last 3-4 years have been priceless. The car rides to and from school, the soccer games, the days at the golf course, the Pelicans games, the bracelet making, the Friday night camp outs, the teaching, the learning, the love.

What’s next? Well, I don’t know. But as the old saying goes, why go and see the movie if you already know the ending?

Far West Texas recap coming Sunday.-Benj

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One thought on “Building a Perfectly Imperfect Foundation: Four Years of No Days Off

  1. So enjoyed this edition of your growth adventures and thanks for sharing, Benj. Missed your Birthday yesterday but Happy, Happy Birthday. I know it will be another great & productive year for you. I also want to congratulation Christy, Banks and you for the upcoming NEW family member. That is wonderful. And she will be one lucky & Blessed little Lady becoming a very important and very loved member of you beautiful family. I’m so happy to hear that and can’t wait to meet and see her.

    Liked by 2 people

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