The Seasons of abk

“Identity is a funny thing. Just when you think you’ve defined yourself or that life has defined you, there’s always another chapter, another challenge. It’s all about getting outside of your comfort zone. Until you do, you’ll never know what you’re capable of.”- Spencer Strasmore, Ballers

I remember when I told my parents I was going to be a father for the first time over seven years ago. They were ecstatic, but later mentioned to me that they had been unsure if kids were ever going to be in my future due to my ever-growing, free-flowing, limit-pushing lifestyle (accurate assessment). That very specific topic has been at the center of the abk journey: how to prioritize the vitally important aspects of family and children, yet still tend passionately to the endless amount of adventurous or exotic things I want to do with my life.

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If you had told me five years ago that, at the age of almost 40 now, I would be an assistant golf professional in coastal Mississippi who just welcomed a daughter into this wild and wacky world, I would have slapped you. No chance. No way. No how.

But I’ve learned, so if you tell me now that in five more years time, I am going to do something or be something equally as ridiculous, I might actually believe you. After almost five years on the journey, I now know how this works. Focus each day on actively living, and living will actually happen. No limits.

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I knew early on in my life that my world was going to have to be huge and ever-changing, but I didn’t fully understand how to accomplish this until I decided to take myself on a little journey, a journey to uncover all I was capable of.

For a period, I was a fervent traveler, exploring anywhere and everywhere. The fields of Iowa to the back streets of Mexico City. Plain Jane and a little danger.

For a period, I did some logistically improbable and downright unnecessary things. My favorite is the day I went to two Italian Serie A soccer games in different northern Italian cities in the same day. My home base was Venice. I hit the lunchtime kickoff in Milan. I hit the 8pm kickoff in Bologna. I had hotel rooms all over Italy. It was unnecessary. It was logistically improbable. It was a day I will never forget.

For a period, I went running like Forrest Gump, pushing every limit that I could. Funny thing is, I hate running. Charlotte, Nashville, Salt Lake City, New York City. In Utah, I ran a blazing-ass fast half marathon down the mountain in the early morning, wanted to die, got sick, rallied, then enjoyed a professional soccer game that my buddy was playing in that evening. All in a 12 hour span. Unbelievable day.

For a period, I got to be daddy daycare for my young son. Man, was that beautiful. For almost a year, I think. Maybe more. That rolled into being my son’s soccer coach for two years, which, unfortunately, I have to take a break from this year.

For a period, I was a banker. For a period, I didn’t do any traditional work. For a period, I worked some. Now, I work all the bloody time.

For a period, during a global pandemic, I lived in about 750 square feet, which I loved. Previous to that, I lived in an urban jungle, which I loved. Now, I live outside in nature, which I love most. Instead of going to the movies, Christy and I sometimes ride with the dolphins.

For the (current) period, I’ve grinded at golf essentially every day for two and a half years. It has turned into a job, a new career, a lifestyle, an opportunity to teach, an opportunity to be outside, an opportunity to be with my son, an opportunity that can take me anywhere I want to go.

For this entire period, I’ve written over 200 journal entries on my website that have been read over 25,000 times. Mind blown.

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I’ve now entered a very distinct new period, one with no wandering allowed for the next year or so. But with a beautiful new daughter in my life and my PGA Player Ability Test, the next baby step towards becoming a golf professional, on the horizon, I need to tend to my business. I’ll miss the traveling, but I’m hoping some family and friends have the abk bug and meander down here.

First up, a tee time with my dad this Friday. It’s supposed to be gorgeous.

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Have a great week.-Benj

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