“…unintended consequences are frequently the way we catch a real glimpse of ourselves in the mirror.” -Wright Thompson
Six years ago yesterday and unbeknownst to me at the time, I formally launched a journey of self-mastery, masked as a fashion blog called anything but khakis ®️.
Fast forward six years (and one day), and I am still on that journey of self-mastery, only the fashion blog is long gone, and the real journey is now masked by the green grass and hot sun of a golf course in coastal Mississippi.
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If I wanted to live a complete life to my maximum potential, I had to go all in. I had to try things I had never even thought about trying. I had to try difficult things where the risk of failure was sky high. If I wanted to ever find my true potential, I had to test myself. I figured that the best chance I had of helping someone find THEIR true potential was to be able to sit with him or her and honestly say, Been there, done that.
I would like to think that I chose golf, but there is an ever so slight chance that golf actually chose me. The parallels between the game and my life are eerily similar. I mean, it’s just a game, but is it?
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In my current teaching business, I conduct mostly individual one hour golf lessons , primarily to adults. I don’t know the exact percentage, but I’d say at least 40% of every lesson has nothing to do with golf. 60% golf, 40% humanity. I get as much out of the session as they do sometimes.
You may not know it, but so much of golf revolves around self-belief, trust, commitment, and physical, mental, and emotional stamina. Are we talking about golf here, or are we in a counseling session?
On my just over four year golf journey, as a microcosm within my six year life journey, I’ve had to tackle all of these human issues. I think that’s why I’ve gotten so much better at golf.
Early in the journey, I snapped my seven iron on a tree out of aggravation. A day or two later, I realized that not only was that immature, but it was also a terrible example for the growing number of folks that were beginning to look at me as a positive influence. Folks that I have the opportunity to help realize their own potential, both inside the game and elsewhere.
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One of the reasons I love to teach so much is I love to understand what someone really wants and help them get there. One reason that I think my early exploits into teaching golf have been so successful is because of my unique path. I wasn’t a childhood golf prodigy. I thought the game was stupid. But from the ages of 36 to now 40, when either I chose golf or golf chose me, I grinded my ass off. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally. I did the work. I needed to do the work. I will continue to do the work. It’s the game of a lifetime.
We are all on some kind of journey here. Many journeys are similar. Some are not. Some involve trying to be a better person. Some involve trying to get good at golf. Some involve trying to be a better person under the facade of trying to get good at golf.
So as I tell anyone that is a potential student, I don’t care if you are looking to break 70, 80, 90, or 100. Makes no difference to me. If you are willing to put in the effort, real effort, to get better, we are going to get along just fine.
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Have a great week.-Benj
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