Humanity Wins Again

I thought my return to writing would be much more exciting. After the better part of nine months of extreme discomfort put me on the sidelines, I thought I’d come back with a bang. Tell you about my body’s transformation. Give you details about my recent World Cup adventure.  Explain to you just how close I am to getting my full PGA membership. 

But life had other plans. 

—

My wife found out two weeks ago that she had breast cancer. She’s in surgery right now. I’m typing this with tears rolling down my face in the waiting room. If you’ve ever met her, you know she’s tough as nails, so it’s strange seeing her scared. In twenty years, I don’t recall if I ever have seen her scared. Mad, often at me, yes?! Scared? Not Christy. 

She is the one who takes care of people no matter the situation. Me, the kids, her students, her family, friends, and sometimes random strangers. They/we often try to reciprocate, but she is a giver, not a taker. 

So to see a battler be scared and a giver reluctantly become a little bit of a taker has been unusual. Her mind, combined with Chat GPT, has gone through every permutation of worst case scenario possible. I contemplated throwing her phone out the window, but ultimately just kept my mouth shut. 

She worried, grieved, and became sad and angry. Then, yesterday, she found some peace. She hadn’t slept in two weeks. Last night, with some angry storms brewing, she slept like a baby. 

—

Amidst all of this, one of her best friends set up a meal train online.   Before we could blink, every meal for the next two weeks was filled, hundreds of dollars of DoorDash gift cards came through, along with thousands of dollars in cash. We were floored. I was floored. She was floored. She didn’t ask for this. 

Christy is a giver, not a taker, but that’s why the response was what it was. If I can wipe the tears from my eyes, I and we want to say a humongous thank you for the generosity. It’s mindblowing. I’ve teared up more in the last two weeks than I have in my entire life. 

—

As I sat with Christy in pre-op today, something brought tears to her eyes. So she gently asked me, “Benj, do I have mascara running down my face?”

“Mascara”, I asked. “Why did you put mascara on?”

“Because I am who I am”, she said, and we both busted out laughing!

A giver. She’s a giver. One tough-ass giver.