First off, I know I am not Jesus. Need to get that out of the way. I can see some of you who don’t really know me asking who this guy thinks he is. Heck, probably some of the people who do know me. Anyways, due to popular demand, this week I am going to let you all in on the secrets of how I shop, with the focus on finding bargains and making them look like a million bucks. Similarly, I’m gonna slip in a few nuggets about encountering tough situations and keeping a positive attitude. See what I’m doing…water into wine.

I’ve written in a previous post about some of my clothes being expensive and some being rather inexpensive, and today I’m gonna give you the method to my madness with the focus on the inexpensive stuff. I buy about a third of my wardrobe on my travels, and these are typically the rather expensive pieces from high-end stores in other cities. Tom Ford. Gucci. Hermes. I get another third online, and these are typically staples like jeans, sweats, dress shirts, etc. I keep Ralph Lauren, Uniqlo, J. Crew, Charles Tyrwhitt, and others saved in my favorites, and update those pieces 2-3 times per year. The final third I get here in Charlotte at two specific locations. And guys (and girls), I don’t like to shop any more than you do, so I will pick a random day a few times a year and hit the Marshall’s at Blakeney and the Outlets off of I-485 in Southwest Charlotte. At the outlets, I spend most of my time at Saks Off 5th and Nike. But they also have a pretty strong Cole Haan store, Coach Men is on fire right now, along with some others. At Off 5th and Marshall’s, I will dig, and there are always hidden gems if you know where to look. In the past I have picked up Armani, Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci. Suits are often buy 1 get 1 free. I will even go to these two, find something I love, wait a few months for no one to buy it, and come back for it to be even more heavily discounted. I have been doing this with huge success my entire adult life. Some examples in the pictures this week: 2 ties from John Varvatos USA and 1 from Hugo Boss. $10 each. A blue woven belt from Italian powerhouse Canali for $35. White Nike trainers for $20. A fuchsia tee from American Apparel. $4. A Levi’s Western shirt for $29 and blue cardigan from Marc Jacobs for $40. A charcoal fall blazer from Calvin Klein Collection for $50. I could go on and on. The outfit of the week this week is $30 for the Diesel shirt, $20 for the Saks pants, $30 for the Vans shoes, and $35 for the Canali belt. You just have to be willing to take a little time at these two places and dig. They might be last season, they might be off season, or they might simply be an overrun from a designer. But I have filled my closet with these pieces for years, received compliments, and then said to myself “Welp, that only cost 15 bucks”.

I also like custom pieces. Like literally things that no one else in Charlotte and possibly the world has. Most of the time I associate the word custom with expensive, but here recently I’ve been getting creative for almost no money at all. Ya’ll have probably seen the USA denim jacket. Got that at Marshall’s for $30 because the right shoulder was ripped. Actually made it more awesome in my opinion. I’m starting to sew patches from my travels onto the back, making a truly unique piece that will be a work in process for years. I just made a custom teal and pink baseball cap. The actual cap was given to me. The patch cost $5. Boom. The only one in the world. I covered one of my nicer hats with lapel pins from LA and Miami, and I made a bracelet out of a strip of denim used to wrap a gift I bought in Nashville. Trash to treasure. Water to wine. Get creative. Be unique.

Finding quality, inexpensive clothes and wearing them with confidence is something that indeed matches my personality. Similarly, I am also very keen on finding the positive in any situation. Unless it is truly life or death, I honestly live by the phrase “It’s gonna be okay”. And the reason I live this way is because of two things that were told to me in my teenage years, and they are basically the same thing. I was a kicker for my high school football team, and in one particular game I missed 2 relatively short field goals. I thought I was going to die, if one of my teammates didn’t kill me first. My coach was none too pleased with me, but offered these words after the game. “Benj, the situation is never as good as you think it is, but it is also never as bad.” He could have told me to just quit missing easy field goals, but instead I got something that is now a guiding principle for my life. My brilliant older brother told me a similar thing numerous times. “You are never as good as you think you are, but you are also never as bad.” These words serve double duty as they keep you humble when you are high but pick you up when you are low. Good times come and go. Bad times come and go. Make some more good times. It’s gonna be okay.

You now know some of my shopping secrets, so take a look. There is nice, reasonably priced, designer level stuff at these places. Sometimes I wonder to myself why I look at some of the clothes I see every day that are mediocre at best, and know that they cost more than this stuff I am telling you about. Take a few hours and get you some stuff, and as always, please make sure it fits. We are getting close to fall, so this is a perfect time to get some new pieces for the closet. Consider taking my advice above. It’s worked very well for me for 20 years. Also consider taking a more positive outlook on life. It’s good for the soul, and people like being around you much more.

Have a great week.-Benj

Ever been on a vacation where the recovery period was as long or longer than the actual trip? Well, that just happened to me here recently. Vacation out west was 5 days. Finally got my mojo back 6 days after I returned. So needless to say, during that 2 week period, I didn’t get a whole lot of physical activity in. And that normally wouldn’t be any issue, except that I am running the NYC Marathon in 14 weeks. You know that saying “1 step back, 2 steps forward”? Well, that didn’t apply here. More like 16 steps back…oh well.

I ran a 5k in June in Charlotte, and a 10k in July in Nashville, so I have been doing some training. But starting last Monday, it was time to dig in, and so I did. I’ve made a deal with myself that come race day November 5th, I am going to be in the best shape of my life…at the age of 35. Which is a tall task, as I was in pretty darn good shape for years as a collegiate soccer player. So the first thing I need to tell you is that I do not like to run. Not even a little. But I wanted a steep physical challenge to prove a little something to myself, and tough tests are what make you stronger in life. So I’m doing a half marathon somewhere in the US in about a month, and then NYC in November.

Okay, so I started serious training last week. I lifted weights 4 days, did core training 5 days, played golf one day, and ran and biked about 25 miles. As I sit here, I feel like Floyd Mayweather is continuously punching my upper body, and Conor McGregor is kicking nonstop at my knees. I woke up last Wednesday to play golf, and I couldn’t raise my left arm above my head. (Made 2 birdies.). But here’s the thing, I am happy as a lark. The phrase “hurts so good” is applicable here, and I feel so accomplished every day. This is going to be the ultimate test of grinding for months behind the scenes for what I hope will be one spectacular experience. For those who know me, I’m not headed to NYC just to finish, I’ve got a time in mind to beat.  So I have to put the work in.   No shortcuts.

Since I’ve started back to the gym, it has allowed me to see what people are wearing to workout these days. And per usual, the girls look nice with their tights, short workout shorts, and tanks, and we guys are wearing t-shirts that we got sophomore year of college. If you are going to workout, get some proper workout clothes. The stuff for guys these days is fantastic. Proper training or running shoes. Athletic socks. Workout shorts that hit mid-thigh or slightly below. A light tank or tee in the newest technology and the correct size. This stuff is not only functional, but also stylish. I’m not a fan of the crazy neon stuff as I feel it has had its day, but definitely toss the old, cotton t-shirts and the shorts that double as capri pants. Ditto the white calf socks with holes in them. I can’t even believe I have to say that.

We’ve got a big week for the readers in Charlotte this week, with the Panthers first preseason game Wednesday and Quail Hollow hosting the PGA Championship all week. Re: the golf, quick reminder that you are not playing in the tournament, so there is no need for you to dress like you are. Leave the golf shoes at home, and unless you are under 13, please do not dress like Ricky Fowler. I’ll be in a simple polo, a nice fitting pair of shorts, and a clean pair of Vans. Perfect outfit to grab a few drinks, walk around the most stunning property, and watch the best golfers in the world.

So as you enjoy this week, do you have some goals set for yourself and your life? Are you willing to put the work in to get better, whether the goal is physical or otherwise? Sometimes you gotta grind and feel a little pain to get to the promised land. And as you hit the gym, run the streets, or head out to the many social events happening this week, feel free to work a little style into your plans. I’ll be out on the town all week, so I hope to see you around.

Have a great week.-Benj

Ever heard of a million dollar suit? Yeah, me neither. Sounds ridiculous, so it’s a good thing that’s not what I am talking about this week. I don’t watch much TV. Mainly sports, and then two shows. But my two shows…I love them! Million Dollar Listing and Suits. Both shows have two characteristics that keep me glued week in and week out: the main characters are hungry and love to win, and they are impeccably dressed.

So let’s get down to business this week. Suits is about a corporate law firm based in New York City, and the lead character is a high-powered attorney named Harvey Specter. Some of the words that I think of when I think of Harvey are confident, winner, leader, and closer. He loves a good battle and a good negotiation. He may come off as brash on the outside, but deep down he really cares about people. I can relate. I love to do deals, but I also care about my clients and my co-workers, and I love to see all of their successes. And I take it all very seriously, including the way I dress each day. 95% of the time you see Harvey on the show, he is impeccably dressed in a custom suit. He means business, and his presentation conveys that. Dark, custom suit fitted to perfection. White dress shirt with a stiff, tall collar. Dark, thick tie with a nice dimple that hits right at the belt buckle. Black lace-up shoes. Simple, white pocket square. Always clean shaven with a professional haircut. That’s his style, and he has it down perfectly. Every single episode.

I am not required to wear a suit to work. But I like to. It’s like my body armor, and I’m as comfortable in one as I am sweats. With the world having gotten increasingly more casual, I think people appreciate someone in a nice suit. Makes you stand out. But for me, I feel the quality of my work and my professionalism is much higher in a suit than just rolling in wearing some chinos and a button-down. I can’t imagine closing a deal, negotiating a deal, or even having some of the tough conversations I have to have in business casual. Just feels weird. So my go-to is similar to Harvey above. I love the dark suit, white shirt, dark tie, white pocket square, and professional haircut. But I do brown shoes, not black, and I am never clean shaven. Not my style. Always a nice watch. Even in 2017. I know your phone tells you the time, but it’s just not the same.

So the point of this week is to encourage everyone to embrace their own individual style. Harvey has his. I have mine. Hopefully, you have or can develop yours. I wore the “required” black dress shoes for years in my twenties, but every day I wore them I felt off. Turned out it just wasn’t me. So I canned them. Find “you”, and then invest in the best stuff in your style that you can afford. In the current season of Million Dollar Listing New York, there is a new real estate broker named Steve Gold that has joined the show. He is super casual. Long hair. Wears t-shirts, sweaters, skinny jeans, and so on. Yet he closes multi-million dollar deals, and I love his swagger. It took me a week to get used to him, but he is my new fave. Harvey and Steve have completely opposite styles, but they both have style. I read something this week about how no particular style is any better than the next, and I agree 100%. You would have no clue if you saw me on the weekend that I was a banker during the week, and I like it that way. The key is to just have some style, and if you are lacking it now, it can be developed. A little effort, attitude, or swagger added each day is a great start. So is a nice watch or belt (see my Pics and Details page).

I know we are talking about TV shows here, but my hope is that it might inspire you or at least make you think. Do you take your livelihood seriously each day? Are you still hungry? Do you wake up and want to win? As ya’ll know, I believe seriously that a piece of that attitude involves how you present yourself each day. Look better. Feel better. Do a better job. Win. And there ain’t nothing wrong with winning!

Have a great week.-Benj

Wow, two weeks in a row referencing popular old school rap songs for my title…what kind of blog is this?

Anyways, I spent the last five days in Montana and Wyoming with three guys that I met just under two years ago at a bank conference. They live in Wyoming, Iowa, and Alabama. Before this week, we had spent roughly 15 days together in person going to training classes, playing golf, and having a drink at the bar. Can you really know someone after 15 days…who knows? Nonetheless, we decided to plan a guy’s trip, which was what this last week was all about. Since we haven’t known each other that long, I got asked by several people leading up to this trip “What if you get up there and don’t really get along?” I figured, worst case, I could hop on a bison, ride it back to the airport, and come back home. Joking, of course.

My point is that we sometimes miss out on incredible life experiences by overthinking things. I hear so many people talk about “we should do this, we should do that”, yet it never ends up happening. I landed back in Charlotte last night about midnight, and quickly assessed that this was one of the best freaking trips I have ever had. We golfed four times. Went to Jackson Hole. Did Yellowstone. Fly-fished. Beer Festival. And just talked and laughed for days. And to think, I could have missed out by overthinking it or never actually pulling the trigger. I have numerous examples within the past year where the easy decision would have been to not take the trip. But I rarely ever make the easy decision…just not how I roll. My wife and I squeezed in a trip to New York City last fall from a Wednesday to a Friday. It did not make sense logistically. We powered through, and it was an absolutely fantastic trip. I journeyed out to Kansas City last year to see my Wingate Soccer boys win the National Championship, and encouraged some friends to join. “What about this? What about that?” everyone said. Just get out here, would you? It was an experience for the ages, and one that I would have been truly disappointed to miss.

I didn’t know what to expect on the style scene going into the Wild West, but I was truly impressed. Lots of individuality, which ya’ll know I love. I saw unique cowboy hats, belt buckles, western shirts, and so on. Lots of interesting tattoos on people, which always intrigues me. Since it fits with today’s theme, I have two tattoos on my right arm opposite from each other that say “dream big” and “live”. It reminds me that the dream is pointless without the execution. I love to go to new places and immerse myself in their unique culture. I basically brought an extra bag so that I could load up on some local gear to bring back to Charlotte. I got an incredible cowboy hat. Some silver and turquoise jewelry made in the Southwest. A beaded bracelet. A shirt from a local Montana company, and a baseball cap from my buddy’s fishing store. Unique. Stylish. Authentic. The only thing I couldn’t find was a belt buckle to my liking. Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to take another trip.

My challenge this week involves some brilliant advice from a retired co-worker whom I respect dearly. He has a vacation home, and I once asked him if he ever felt like he had to go to it regularly instead of trying out new places. He basically told me unless I just really, really, really love one spot…go see the world. And that’s why I was in Montana and Wyoming last week instead of Myrtle Beach. Try a new vacation spot some time. Just because. Good gosh, it might just be awesome! And when you get there, buy some local stuff. They will be unique items to wear when you get home and will provide you with visible reminders of one of the best trips of your life. Come to think of it, I’m going to go to put on my cowboy hat now…

Have a great week.-Benj

Imagine you are a rather private person. And then imagine doing something that causes thousands of people to start talking about you, with hundreds of those same people insulting, questioning, or making fun of you. To make it more interesting, there is a strong chance that you may run into many of these people soon at a restaurant, bar, or just on the street. Well, that is what my Thursday of last week looked like, and it is also what I believe to be the exact definition of “stepping outside of your comfort zone”. Stepping outside of your comfort zone isn’t easy, but it is often necessary to grow and get better. Would I do it again?  Absolutely.

So I wrote this little article last week about blue shirts and khaki pants (you may have read it lol), and who knew
such a mundane topic could stir up so much controversy in Charlotte? I did, of course. But let’s not forget one major thing. The article is true. I’ve worked in Uptown specifically for the last five years…and my eyes don’t lie.  Most of the guys dress exactly the same.

So now that we are back in the safe confines of my blog, let’s dive in a little bit. First, let’s talk about what the blog is all about. We don’t do style rules here at ABK. The world has enough goofy rules, and no one likes to be told what to do. I sure don’t. So we do suggestions. Guidance. Advice. Anything but khakis can be taken extremely literally i.e. don’t wear khakis (I don’t), or you can think about it’s deeper meaning for a second. Be unique. Don’t be boring. Live life to the fullest. Don’t conform. And so on. I partially convey this message to the world in the way that I present myself, and I am a true believer that if you take a little pride in your appearance, you feel better about yourself, and then you go attack life.

Re: the literal meaning…if you are someone that wears blue shirts and khaki pants (or white shirts and black pants) every day, ask yourself why. If it is because you have a very strict, specific dress code for work, then fair play. If you absolutely adore blue shirts and khaki pants, then knock yourself out. But if the answer to that question is because everyone else does, because it is safe or easy, or because you don’t know anything different, then you are at the right place. Take a look at some of my previous blogs, the picture above, and the last portion of the Charlotte Agenda article. Regardless of all of the crazy comments from people, these are valid tips. I know what I am talking about. Since we have a lot of new readers this week, let’s rehash some important tips. First, and this has nothing to do with the color of the clothes, make sure they fit. On the pants side, look at my suit pants. They are neither too long nor too short, too baggy nor too slim. On the shirt side, try shirts that are slim, sharp, or tailored fit versus the classic fit. If you are even relatively in shape, the classic fit shirt makes you look like you are wearing a parachute. So many of the guys I see every day aren’t wearing clothes that fit. And black dress shoes? Makes me think about going to a funeral. They can look great with a sharp suit and tie, but worn in a business casual setting, they immediately make your outfit 64% duller.

Once we get through the sweltering Charlotte summer, I am going to do a six week style series for guys where we are going in depth from head to toe. Likely will start early September. If you have friends, family, or co-workers that could use this, point them here. Hopefully lots of stuff will be going to Goodwill or to the tailor, and this will start the most stylish Fall ever in Charlotte. Like a revolution…ooh, exciting!

So this week, a couple of challenges. Go attack life. I am headed to Montana and Wyoming on an adventure with 3 dudes that I have met twice, so I’m on board. Also, if you are a blue shirt and khaki guy, take a peek at the things I mentioned
above and consider branching out. If I can rile up 20,000 people and be okay, you can surely go buy a pair of navy pants that fit. Let’s be rebels together. Finally, help me get some more eyes on this blog. I know there is interest. Let’s slowly but surely help the young men of Charlotte (and beyond) become a little more stylish.

Have a great week.-Benj

The above statement may or may not be true, but I do have a lot of shoes. I also have a lot of ties, and my hat collection is growing. But outside of that, I have shockingly very few clothes for someone who loves fashion so much. I am actually very much a minimalist, and I will choose quality over quantity every time. But the real reason I have so few clothes is twofold: one, I hate stuff. Two, I have no desire to waste precious time deciding what I want to wear.

Time is the most valuable commodity in this world, yet so many people struggle with time management and just generally waste so much time. And then you ask someone how they are doing, and they just say “busy”. Huh? People ask me how I fit in all of those things I talk about in previous blogs to my day. I make lists. I do things on said lists. And I get on with it. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely love my lunches with the boys. I love cracking jokes with folks throughout the day. But if it doesn’t have a real purpose, or I don’t get any enjoyment from it, I don’t waste a single second on it. Over the past few years, my family has made some simple (and not so simple) tweaks to free up time to do more things that we enjoy. Though traffic wasn’t the primary reason we moved, it had gotten diabolical where we lived. We made a change. My commute is now almost nothing, and my wife’s is much more pleasant. She was also spending all day on certain Sundays cleaning the house. I had been trying to convince her for years to hire a cleaning service so she could have her Sundays back, and so we finally did. She would spend the other part of her weekend grocery shopping, so she found a service called Shipt that would deliver groceries to our doorstep, and now we have our groceries delivered to our house. The building of our new house was, of course, a big investment, but the cleaning service is $200 per month, and Shipt is $99 per year plus tipping the driver. We made these changes, and the quality of our lives improved 1,000 times over.

It takes me about two minutes to get dressed in the morning, and do you want to know why? Minus my statement pieces and some crazy shoes, everything practical in my wardrobe goes with one another. I can pack for a 4-day trip in five minutes. As an example, most of my day-to-day clothes are in shades of blue, gray, brown, and white. Brown shoes, navy socks, navy suit, brown belt, white shirt, blue tie, white pocket square. I can put that together in fifteen seconds, and it looks great! Sounds dull though, doesn’t it? Put that side by side with someone wearing olive pants, a peach shirt, flamingos on their socks…see where I am going. Unless we are at the circus, my outfit wins every time. ( Not that this is a competition.) My real point is that sometimes simple is better, and it can save you a lot of time and hassle deciding what to wear each day. This applies to both women and men. I love creativity more than anyone in this world, but for every day wear, I have found that adopting a “uniform” that fits well is the best way to save time and still look great. THIS DOES NOT MEAN THROWING ON WRINKLED KHAKIS AND A BLUE SHIRT EVERY DAY. I REPEAT…

This week, think about two things. First, think about what people tell you looks good on you. Then replicate that with subtle tweaks. That should be your uniform. Fill your closet with it. You don’t need seven pair of fuchsia pants and six Hawaiian shirts when you don’t have the basics mastered. It makes no sense. And second, think about what takes lots of your time that you really don’t enjoy doing. Are there alternatives that might give you back some of your time and improve your quality of life? If so, don’t forget to act on it. Thinking about it forever only wastes more time.

Have a great week.-Benj

Okay. So if you happen to still have a fanny pack, please go immediately to Blog #1 and start reading from the beginning. Everyone else, settle in and we are going to talk about traveling in style this week. I have been in (and am still in) Nashville, TN for the past few days enjoying a place I have never been, and it just got me thinking about how much I love to travel. I get pretty restless staying in the same spot for too long. I love Charlotte, but if I don’t get out every 30 days or so, I start to go a little stir crazy. So last fall, I made a deal with myself to try and travel every month, and so far, so good. I have been to NYC twice, Kansas City, Mississippi, St. Louis, LA, Miami, Destin, Atlanta, and now Nashville. I am headed to Wyoming in 2 weeks, Italy shortly thereafter, and NYC again later in the fall. Seeing the world is so important to me, but I also like to do it in style, so buckle in for some ideas that I would like to share.

First off, I like going to new places. Someone asked me last year if I could only try new places, or always go back to my favorite places, which one would I choose. Other than NYC, I would choose something new all day long. Of the 11 places above, 7 are new to me. I like to stay at local, boutique hotels when possible. This week I have been at Hayes Street Hotel. Super cool. I prefer to eat at local hotspots and drink local beer, wine, cocktails, and even sodas. Things that you can only get in that city, for example. This week it has been Hattie B’s hot chicken. Sriracha chicken pizza and a grapefruit IPA at a local brewery. The list goes on. If there is a sporting event in town, I try to go. No sporting event here this week, but I am running the Music City 10k here tomorrow morning. And if there are friends in the city, around the city, or on the way to the city, I have to make an effort to get together for a drink or bite to eat. We stopped in Asheville on the way and had lunch with my long lost Mars Hill friends Lynn, Sergio, and Dionne. I also very much like to hit the local shops that are unique to the area. I hit Kith in Miami and NYC. WISH in Atlanta. And today, Imogene + Willie in Nashville. Bought the softest t-shirt you can imagine, along with a very unique beaded necklace. People always ask me where I get my clothes, and lots come from these one-offs in other cities, and it typically leads to great conversation.

I do have two quirky things that I personally like to do when I travel. If the city has a Major League Baseball team, I have to go to the stadium and get an on-field fitted hat. Talk about a good conversation starter. I was wearing my Cardinals hat at Office Depot last week, and it led to a rousing discussion with some stranger about St Louis. Happens all the time. And the second, I like to see how the real people live in each place I go. Touristy places are fine, but I like to venture off the beaten path, sometimes to edgy areas of town, just to feel the true flavor of a place. Not recommending it per se, but I personally enjoy it.

When I travel, I take two leather bags and a book bag. One is the softest black leather bag from Cole Haan, and the other is a tan leather bag from Jack Spade. My book bag is a multi-blue leather bag from Coach Men, and it allows me to be hands-free, which is great. If you are still using your book bag from high school, think about burning it. You are not fifteen any more. Traveling with these three bags does wonders for me. First, they don’t look like every other black rolling suitcase, so if I am flying I can find them very easily. Second, when I arrive at the hotel, they always get commented on. As with many things in life, I find that valets, bellhops, and hotel staff typically remember unique individuals, outfits, and bags. So when I arrive anywhere, I try to arrive smiling, wearing a unique outfit, and carrying a unique bag. Put a $5 or $10 bill in their hand upon arrival, and I find that I am treated like a king all week. Which I love.

Two obvious, but relevant challenges for this week. If you travel with a 50-year old, black rolling suitcase, it is okay to switch it up a little and put some actual style into your travel gear. And if you aren’t traveling as much as you would like, start strategizing on how to do so. I need to see the world, and I am figuring out how to do so one month at a time. If you want to come with me, let’s go!

Have a great 4th of July and a great week!-Benj

 

Any time Cam Newton wears something new and wild and crazy, my phone inevitably blows up with texts from family and friends wanting to get my take. First, it was the Versace pants, then the hats, and now the romper that is not really a romper. (Oh, the romper.) So I am going to put this to rest for everyone once and for all. I love it all! I have met him twice, and I absolutely love his flair. I love his uniqueness and individuality. And I love that he likes to have fun, and that it brings attention to our great team and wonderful city! Now I am not going to be wearing Versace pants or a male romper any time soon (and dear God, I hope you are not either), but I do now have a hat…

From the first time I saw his crazy hats, I was completely smitten. I wanted to know who made them, where, what the story was, and so on. I have been into fashion for 20+ years, but had never really gotten interested in proper hats, until now. So here is the jist: the hat maker is Alberto Hernandez for the incredible hat making company Nick Fouquet, and they are located in Venice, CA. So I figured, why not get on a plane and go get one? And about 3 months ago, I did. The experience was incredible. I walked into the small store wearing my Panthers polo, hoping to start a conversation. It did. I met Alberto. I then spent the next 2 hours with Ali, designing a custom straw hat which I just received this week. We talked about design, LA, Charlotte, and the Panthers. They charged my phone in the back for me since it was dead after the 2 hour (7 mile!) Uber ride, and even ran it up front to me when it rang during the process. Just an incredible experience I will never forget.

When Nick Fouquet makes a hat, he oftentimes gives it a name. So to stay true to that theme, I’m going to name mine too. I got it made in light pink straw to shield the Charlotte summer sun and finished it with teal accents. Cam inspired it. So the obvious choice is “The Pink Panther”. Starting today, I will wear it with pride, knowing that I will receive plenty of odd looks, but that it will also start many conversations with complete strangers. But most importantly, every time I put it on, I will be reminded of Cam, the Panthers, Nick Fouquet, and my trip to LA. And that it’s okay to live the unique, fun, and interesting life that you want to live.

Have a great weekend. -Benj

Okay, so remember the dinner party with David Beckham and me from a few weeks ago? Well, this week I am throwing another imaginary dinner party, and this time everybody is welcome. Like, legitimately everybody. Two weekends ago, I went to Atlanta with a group of friends for a big party, and man, it did not disappoint. Like a 10+ on the fun scale. No exaggeration. So I got to thinking what made it so fun, and the usuals were covered. However, there was one big difference. The people in my immediate crowd and then the party crowd were so diverse, there was just constant conversation, laughter, and curiosity. Late Friday night at the bar, it hit me that I was the only American male in my group. The conversation had gone from Africa to England and everywhere in between, and it was fascinating and hilarious. The conversation Saturday turned to other matters, and it quickly struck me that I was the old man (I’m 35, settle down) in the group, and how different age groups view matters such as marriage and money so differently. I like to learn new stuff every day, so to be learning while I was partying and having a great time was just fantastic. And then the featured event Saturday night was just so much fun! The variety of ages, lifestyles, geographies, interests, and so on was likely the broadest spectrum I have ever been around. Everyone I met, I wanted to know more. What their story was. And before I knew it, it was 2am and it was time to go. But not before meeting tons of great new people, catching up with old ones, and dancing, laughing, and drinking the night away.

There is a big problem in this world right now where people don’t understand each other, don’t want to understand each other, or are afraid to try and understand each other. I don’t get it. Just because something or someone is a little different doesn’t make it wrong or bad. If anything, to me, it has all the possibility in the world to be awesome and fantastic. I have believed that for a long time now, and this weekend just reaffirmed that for me a million times over.

On a similar note, I feel like most guys either don’t understand what clothes make them look good, have no interest, or are afraid to branch out even the slightest bit, even though the results could be incredible. So let’s think about this on a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being extremely plain vanilla and 10 being the late Craig Sager. If you are looking to up your style game, think about going from a 1 to a 3, or a 6 to an 8. Nothing too dramatic, because you still have to be you. But let’s think about ways to get these results. Let’s say you are a business casual kind of guy, and let’s start from the bottom. The shoes have to be quality. Have you heard this before from me? Try some no-show socks this summer, or go sockless. The pants must fit, and not just the waist and length. The cut should neither crush your legs nor make it look like you are walking around with pillow cases on your legs. Get an interesting belt that generally matches your shoes. Reference some of my polo pics from earlier posts for the shirt. Get a cool watch, and maybe pair it with a unique bracelet. All of this can be in muted colors, and you will still look a million times better. There is a guy in my building that is just a good ole’ boy. Yet, he wears killer loafers, cool belts, and a great watch/bracelet combo. Everything else is just plain and normal. And I think he looks fantastic all of the time. If you are already somewhat advanced, take it up a notch. Sometimes you get it wrong when you branch out. I know I have, and who cares, right? But not trying at all, to me, is always getting it wrong.

So my challenge this week is easy. Just branch out. Simple as that. If you only talk to people in your own circle, find someone new to talk to. If you always wear blue shirts to work, try something different. It will feel uncomfortable at first, but then you will feel good about it. And that will be the first step to upping your game.

Have a great week.-Benj

This week’s post is extra special because it is a tribute to my father and to my son. My dad is known to many as Dr. Bostic, Mr. Bostic, Ron, or even Sweet Ronnie B. But to me, he is just dad. By trade, he was/is a college professor, and by most accounts, and excellent one. If you have a teacher in your family, you know that the traits that they have in the classroom inevitably spill over into other aspects of life. And that certainly happened at our house. He has taught me so much, but there are three distinct teachings from him that I hold so dear. First, whether he knows it or not, there is one piece of style advice he gave to me a long time ago that still resonates with me today. For any special occasion like Father’s Day, I would ask him what he would like as a gift. And he always wanted a new tie. After the 7th or 8th tie, I told him this was getting a little crazy and asked why he kept wanting new ties. He said very matter-of-factly, “People get tired of looking at the same thing.” That was 20+ years ago, and that one statement still influences me today. Second, as to the point as that statement was, my dad had a brilliant way of teaching something without actually saying it. He wanted me to figure it out myself. Try it this way. Trial and error. He would guide me but never tell me, and that was so valuable. He is a music teacher, and I can’t help but think that he wanted me to have a little creativity in my decision making. A little art with my science. Look at it from different angles. And lastly, as a part of his job, he would go to one or two music conferences in major cities every year. And each time, he would take me out of school, and I would go with him. We road-tripped to Madison, WI, seeing the Midwest and chatting nonstop along the way. We went to Chicago. New York City multiple times. He would have conferences throughout the day, and he would just let me roam these places by myself. I’m sure most parents thought he was crazy. I thought it was exhilarating, and quite frankly taught me independence, culture, diversity, grittiness, and so much more. When I was a teenager, I walked straight into The Plaza hotel in Manhattan by myself, got a table for 1, and had the best steak of my life. I think most of his students would agree with me that he was a good teacher in the classroom, but an even better one outside of it.

When my son came into the world two plus years ago, I had no idea what was going on for the first year. I was now a father, but had no idea what that meant. I had no idea what my role was or what my new identity was, and luckily I found it at some point. Banks Douglas Bostic is the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me. He makes me laugh. He makes me smile. And he does something to my heart that is like nothing I’ve ever felt before. If you’ve met him, you know a few things about him: he’s always smiling, he has personality for days, and he already marches to the beat of his own drum. I feel like he’s already developing that individuality, uniqueness, and self-confidence that I hope he can hang onto throughout life. He loves wearing his pajamas to school and out on the town. He likes to wear his sunglasses upside down. He flosses his teeth it feels like six times a day. Rain boots are his jam, and he sometimes prefers to wear them on the wrong feet. He wears his mom’s makeup and jewelry. And depending on the time of day that I catch him, his hat may be forwards, backwards, or even sideways. Just depends on his vibe. As little as I knew about being a father in year one, I think I have figured out what my role is for Banks, and it is pretty simple. To try and help keep that beautiful smile on his face for as long as humanly possible!

I’m not going to talk much about outfits and clothes today, because today is more important than that. It’s about the two most important guys in my life, and the love that I have for each of them. One is 67 and one is 2, but they are both still constantly teaching me about life and style, whether they know it or not. My dad taught me the importance of a tuxedo, and bought me my first one in high school. He said my tie should never show under the back collar, and my shoes should always be clean and polished. And if I am not careful, people will get tired of looking at me. Banks was sick this week, and so I took him to the doctor. After the tests came back, the doctor looked at him and said “You have strep.” And Banks turned straight to me and yelled “This is awesome!” What an attitude! My son also taught me that it is okay to wear a combination of rain boots, pajamas, flannel, sunglasses and a hat out on the town. And that if you walk into Starbucks with a smile and a swagger, people will likely smile back!

Cheers to all of the wonderful fathers out there, and have a great week.-Benj