When something good happens to someone else, are you happy for them? Or deep down, do you feel a tinge of jealousy?
When something good continuously happens to someone else, are you happy for them? Or deep down, do you wonder how they get all the luck?
When someone goes on a cool vacation, are you happy for them? Or deep down, do you wish you were there?
Last week was Wells Fargo Championship week back in Charlotte, my former favorite week of the year. Years ago, I would have HAD to be there. My buddies were sending me all sorts of crazy pictures and stories from the course, telling me about the great time they were having. Was I missing out this year? Well, that is one way to look at it. Or, nah. I was on the golf course myself in Mississippi, working on my game, strolling through nature, and enjoying life.
As fun as that week is/was in Charlotte, I’m not there anymore. Life has moved on. I have other fish to fry now and magic I want to create, magic that is right in front of me. (But I was happy that they were having such a good time!)
Speaking of magic, last Wednesday night, I stood on the tee box of the par 3 17th hole at my new home course, Shell Landing. My playing partner, a complete stranger just hours ago, stepped up to the tee with his 7 iron and proceeded to make his first ever hole in one. It was wild, we went nuts, and to think, I almost didn’t accept he and his buddy’s invitation to play with them that day.
I’ve never personally suffered from FOMO, but I know a lot of people do. I’ve never been the jealous type, but I know a lot of people are. My problem was that I viewed everything as a competition, and that is something I have worked very hard to undo. Because that attitude served me extremely well in business and sports, but it was a huge detriment to happiness in life.
I love seeing cool things happen to other people. I love seeing people do what they love and thrive at what they do, and I love being a small part of a really cool experience.
So what changed?
I implemented some simple, yet not so easy behaviors. I put myself out there. I tried tons of new things. I met new people. I offered something to the world in exchange for nothing. I started consistently doing things that I enjoyed.
When I started genuinely doing these things, something changed. Magic started to happen.
Am I saying that focusing on bettering myself opened up my relationship to the world?
It felt weird and scary at first, but it really was just that simple. When I started just doing things and trying things and paying attention, my world really freaking changed. When I just told myself I was going to write and take pictures and golf and make hats and give style advice and just constantly grind and not worry about money and followers and likes and comments and other people’s opinions and what anyone else was doing and all sorts of weird bullshit, my world COMPLETELY changed.
I started to understand happiness. And that opened my heart up to celebrate everyone else.
Have a great week.-Benj
Follow along on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis and @abkgolf.
If you enjoy these and would like to get the weekly piece via email, please follow on the website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com .