Let’s start with a couple of questions this week. First, has anyone ever gone to a 3 day party with good family and friends? Maybe some of these people are younger or more energetic than you? Maybe they don’t have kids? Maybe many are soccer players from foreign countries, and the pub is like their second home? If just maybe you have encountered this, you can understand why the blog came out today, and not last night. It would have been incoherent.
Next, has anyone ever been to an event that felt “different”? I personally seek out and love different events, but I usually don’t put weddings in this category. Sure, they are fun. Nice. Beautiful. A few drinks. Maybe a round of golf. Some banter. Not this one. This one wasn’t nice. It was absolutely awesome! The whole damn weekend was. I’m still buzzing.
Let’s start with the people, and of course, the two most important people first. My friends Junior and Kellen, as reiterated over and over this weekend, are just fabulous people. They are interesting, kind, passionate, and super fun. Put them together, and that just doubles. Junior hails from Cameroon and Kellen from the great Union County, NC, and they both went to Wingate University. I tell you this because the guest list was as diverse and fantastic as you can imagine. Folks from Africa and Europe. I heard a gentleman was in from Kazakhstan. Wingate people. Union County people. All mixing and mingling and having a great time. I met new people and thoroughly enjoyed reigniting old friendships. Being around good people is the foundation for a good time, but then some unique activities turned it from good to great.
Friday night, there was a welcome party. If you’ve ever been to a good party, I don’t need to say anything else. Saturday morning, 40-50 people gathered on the beach for a wedding day yoga session. Now this was new to me. I had never done yoga. I had never done yoga on a beach. I had never done yoga on a beach on a morning after a welcome party. Now I have. And that was 48 hours ago, and I am still sore. But it was awesome! After that, the afternoon was wide open until the ceremony at 5:30. My wife and I ended up joining the legendary Wingate coaching staff of Gary Hamill and Joey Calandra for brunch at this local joint that was terrific. We grabbed a table outside and ate and talked. Before long, my mate Clarkie and his wife Jo came walking by, and we summoned them up to join us. They had a drink, and before long we migrated to a wine bar about 5 steps away. Fast forward some 5 hours later, and the stories that had been told and the bottles of wine that had been drunk were the perfect intro into wedding night. (Let me remind you, that afternoon piece was totally impromptu.) The ceremony and reception were great, followed by an after party on the beach under a pretty cool orange moon over the ocean. And finally, Sunday was beach day, which for me ended with a 5 v. 5 soccer match on the beach. I play soccer all the time, but usually not on the beach, and definitely not when the only language being spoken is French. That was pretty cool!
Last but certainly not least, we must talk about style. First off, the bride and all of the women were gorgeous, and I will just leave that there. But the guys certainly held their own, with some terrific custom suits, plaid suits, panama hats, linen pants, among others. It was a stylish crowd, and judging by the amount of random spectators on the beach watching, people were curious. If you recall, I had the privilege of working with Junior on his wedding outfit a few months ago. It turned out perfect, and he wore it like a boss. The picture below is my favorite shot I got. Now I personally know that they had just been pronounced husband and wife when I took this, but I’ll be damned if he could have also been simply auditioning to be the next James Bond.
Interesting, diverse people. Cool, unique activities. Style for days. That’s a really good recipe for an unforgettable weekend. This weekend was electric. It was awesome. It flowed perfectly. It was different. And if you’ve been following along for a while now, you know different is good.
And if you want a look like Junior’s for a special occasion or just every day wear, message me. I would love to help.
Have a great week.-Benj
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I returned back home for the first time in 11 days today.
As with any place, the Mississippi Gulf Coast has its own personality. I imagine the majority of you have never been, so let me enlighten you. The pace is slow. Like cook in the crockpot all day slow. That piece tests me, because I’m like zap it in the microwave fast. But otherwise, I dig it. One of my favorite things about the people down there is that they know how to do stuff. Filet a fish. Fix a boat. Build a house. Catch shrimp. Cut timber.
We had ribeyes at Donelle’s, a place so good it doesn’t have or need a website. BBQ at The Shed. Fried Oysters at the Tiki. Burgers at Huck’s. My son went crabbing. We all went fishing. I learned how to drive a boat. We looked for gators and snakes. I got 4 rounds of golf in.
The Gulf Coast is good because it forces me to let my hair down. I shower every 4th day. I rarely change clothes. I keep my shirt untucked at the golf course. No one cares. There are no rules. Except slow down. Relax. Enjoy. So I try. As Mr. Sorensen reminded me, I have to adapt to their way of life, not vice versa.
I think I turned a TV on twice, once to show my father in law the opening scene of Spectre in Mexico City, where I just was.
So what can the folks of Mississippi teach us? Life is right in front of you, with great food and golf and boating and exotic animals and sunshine and family and friends and fixing stuff and generally being present. Lots of enjoyment and lots of learning this week.
I am now a completely different human being. It took one year. I’m not nearly done yet, but the foundation took one year. I was out of my comfort zone every single day. It looks like I played all year long. Incorrect. Not even close. Immense, in depth work on myself, just in cool locations and in cool clothes. I haven’t rested all year long (other than my nap in 
Next is Mom # 1, the above big guy’s mom and my wife, Christy. First off, the above idea was hers, and that is ridiculously selfless.
Mom # 3 is my mom, who I am so happy to see today. She is both my biggest doubter and biggest supporter, which we laugh about all the time. When I got a dog some 12 years ago, the first thing she said to me was “What do you know about raising a dog?” Turns out, you learn. When I decided to run a marathon last year, the first thing she said to me was “What do you know about running a marathon?” Turns out, you learn. She’s quick to pop that question to me, but even quicker to throw her unwavering support behind any of my unusual activities I have decided to take on. She knows I’ve got this, and if I mess up, I’ll figure it out. What she may not know is that a good portion of the swagger I have comes from her quiet unwavering support. I’ve written this before, but never for Mother’s Day. She is genuinely the nicest person I have ever met, but is secretly super competitive. She is having a 2nd knee replacement surgery this week, and I love her attitude about it. She’s just ready to get on with it. Do what needs to be done. Sort it, so she can get back to living life. I love that attitude because of what it signifies. Sometimes life gets you down. Sometimes you need a new knee. Process it. Focus on it. Sort it out. And get back after it…stronger.
The first thing I did when I arrived in Mexico City last Friday was accidentally send my uber driver to the zoo instead of the airport. I had a good laugh to myself, but as much as I believe in respecting other peoples’ cultures, I knew I needed to get my act together quickly.
Leading up to the trip last weekend, I felt like people thought I was going to North Korea or something. The amount of pushback was staggering. It was Mexico City, and if you get some insight from people who have actually been there before, you would know it has become quite the cultural destination. A little edgy as is every city, but otherwise, awesome. Sounds like my kind of place.
The city is gigantic, super smoggy, and at a staggering 7,000+ feet above sea level, the altitude will pop you in the face. So I got to my hotel (Winston Churchill stayed there previously), dropped my bags, and took off on foot immediately, per usual. My first Mexican meal was very ordinary. I then walked a good 5 miles to explore the historic part of the city. I attended Catholic Mass (I’m not Catholic!). I went to the square of the opening scene in James Bond’s Spectre. I bought a new “Zorro” hat from Mexican legends Tardan. And then I met up with my friend Drew and his wife Sarah (who were randomly in Mexico City the same weekend) for a Friday night on the town. We drank local cervezas, 70 year old tequila, and had Cuban cigars. We laughed, and the conversation was super interesting…just 3 Americans enjoying Mexico City from a rooftop bar. We got wind of this excellent hole in the wall taco place some 2 blocks away, and we decided to go. It was roughly 11pm, and it was packed. We squeezed in, ate 12 of the most delicious tacos between the 3 of us, and then said goodnight shortly thereafter. That would be all I would see of them.
Saturday, time to explore some more. I walked the SoHo of Mexico City and the Rodeo Drive. In between, I hit some less glamorous places. Always enjoy that. I did some vintage shopping at this store called Void that is one of the coolest stores I have ever been to. I walked through their Central Park. I got what is sure to be the most unique bathing suit for this summer, and ate vina rosa ice cream that was unreal.
If I am honest, I was a little worried about Saturday night. I was headed to the magnificent Estadio Azteca for Club America vs. Santos, where rumor has it sometimes Americans have bottles of urine thrown on them. So I did my best to blend in with the crowd. Keep mouth shut, check. Be aware of surroundings, check. Have 5,000 military police with machine guns around at all times, check. What a cool experience, and what a thrill to successfully navigate the 2 metro rides, the 1 train ride, the acquiring of my ticket, watching the game, and getting back to my hotel safely at midnight. Score! Or better yet, gooooollll!
I wasn’t worried about game # 2 on Sunday at noon. Broad daylight. I had navigated the first one so easily. Wrong. Here’s the deal. I bought my tickets on the international version of a StubHub type site, but in Mexico you don’t actually take possession of the ticket until 2 hours before game time. You have a meeting place (Starbucks). A name and telephone number (too many digits). Worked perfectly Saturday night at Azteca. Not so much Sunday. My phone apparently doesn’t dial phone numbers with like 600 digits. Good to know. So I had to be flexible about an hour before game time, when it became apparent I wasn’t going to get my ticket. I calmly got another uber, made my way to the stadium, and bought tickets there. No problem. The atmosphere of game 2 (Pumas vs. Queretaro) was much more fun, although I did get beer poured on my head. I then took in the legendary Frida Kahlo museum, Casa Azul, before I was officially whipped. In 48 hours I had walked probably 15 miles in the Mexican heat. Ate. Drank. Shopped. Played. And I was literally done. So I went and took a nap at my hotel. Yes, you heard that correctly. I flew to Mexico City and took a nap. And then I awoke, watched sunset at El Angel, and called it a night.
Takeaways? Everything is ridiculously inexpensive. 25 cent tacos and metro rides. $5 ubers anywhere it seemed. $20 handmade silver. Montezuma’s Revenge is real. The city has loads of energy. The people are kind and warm and simply want you to enjoy their city and country. It’s bright and colorful, and the culture is electric. I felt more unsafe at the gas station back in Charlotte Tuesday than I did at any point in Mexico City. You probably want to be a bit of a seasoned traveler and do your due diligence to make this trip, but if you are, it is right at the freaking top of the list.
One thing niggled at me the entire trip. Prior to, so many people were telling me everything bad about Mexico City that I assume they had heard on the news or some other BS communication. And I just kept wondering how much life do people miss by listening to all of the noise, all of the time? Because if I had heeded the noise (which wasn’t true at all), I would have missed out on navigating one of the biggest, most culturally fascinating cities in the world. What an absolute thrill!
What the hell was I afraid of or nervous about? That I wasn’t a professional painter or sider? In retrospect, I have no idea. I had a fantastic day. Left fully excited for the new homeowners. Fully fulfilled by the work that had been done. And proud as can be of my teammates. I had passed up that opportunity multiple times in the past, and for what? Seriously, I have no idea.
So first off, I am running the NYC Marathon again this year. Round 2. Why? Let’s talk it through together. Let me remind you of my experience last 
What if this became my story? Guy who hates running overcomes terrible arthritis pain to run marathons in his favorite city in the world to raise money for the very disease that prevents him from doing certain daily tasks. What if this became my thing? What if starting last year, I run the NYC Marathon every year until the day that I die? Sorry…I am a dreamer. But what if…
Life is so exciting. What’s your story? Start writing…
I’ve taken some super-memorable trips in my life, and specifically the past 18 months. But even the best of those don’t compare to my two favorite things about Wingate: playing the piano with my mom at my childhood home (yes, I know I owe you the completion of our duet) or spending a fall night watching Wingate Men’s Soccer (D2 National Champs 2016). You think I am exaggerating? Two years ago, I cut a vacation to NYC short to fly home and watch a Wingate Men’s Soccer playoff game in person. No joke.
Wingate is an interesting place. It is about 45 minutes from Charlotte on the way to the beach. My high school won the State Basketball Championship here recently, of which I am very proud. It is very rural, and smells like farming. Its demographics run the gamut, which was crucial in my development as a human being. A nice mix of white, black, and Hispanic, among others. The age of the population leans a little older, but then the university population evens that back out. Oh yeah, did I not mention? The town has a world-class university smack in the middle. I received my MBA and played soccer there. The campus is absolutely beautiful. The athletic program is second to none. Ditto to the pharmacy school and other academic programs. There is a worldwide feel because the university has students from all over the world. I can literally pop in for a day and talk native Wingate-ese, or overhear one of 10 different languages.
I know I always talk about the importance of experiencing the world. Broadening your horizons. Being a true citizen of the world, not just your own little community. But life’s a trip, no pun intended, because on the other hand, there are so many “wordly” people out there that would have no idea how to behave in my little ol’ Wingate. I say it all the time to anyone who will listen (my co-workers are tired of it). Growing up in this place was an absolute blessing, and I never want to lose the ability to interact and relate with my hometown or any other small town, regardless of where I live or travel to.
One of my primary goals in life right now is to be able to start and carry on a conversation with literally anyone on this planet. So as I continue on my travels of the United States and the world, I get as much satisfaction during the off weekends to hit up places like Wingate. Because as fun as some fancy-ass place in Miami may be, it is necessary, vital even, to understand that the farmer in Wingate is equally as important. So when I say broaden your horizons, yeah, I may be encouraging someone whose world has gotten a little small. But let it be known, I also want everyone to know the importance of places like Wingate. And how it has shaped my view of the world just as much as all of these other places. No better. No worse. Just different. And as I always say, different is good. Different is good.
Last week my family and I journeyed to Florida, but here is how it started. I was simply annoyed at the Charlotte weather. Cold, dreary, really all over the place. So I said, let’s go to Florida. Just a quick getaway to the Orlando area. Nothing wild and crazy. Once it was agreed upon, I texted my college soccer teammate Sergio who lives in the area to see if he and his family wanted to have dinner. Next thing I knew, we were invited to stay at his house for a long weekend.
Christy then decided to text her childhood friend Mikey who is an animal trainer at Sea World to see if he and his family were around. Next thing I knew, we had a full day planned at Sea World with behind the scenes animal “meet and greets” with flamingos, dolphins, sea lions, and otters.
It was Spring Break in Florida last week, and Sergio called me on Thursday while we were driving down to let me know that another family had been staying with them earlier in the week and was going to stay one more night. No problem. One thing: Sergio and his wife Dionne have 4 kids, and his friend has 6. Night 1=11 kids and 6 adults. It was like the Home Alone house.
On the way down, we stopped at one of our favorite little towns in Florida called Saint Augustine. Spent a few hours enjoying the town. Just a lovely, chill little place.
Friday was Sea World. I love animals, so it was very cool. We started the day with 4 adults and 3 kids, and finished with 5 adults and 5 kids as a friend of our friends joined the party. We had a great time, but I can’t even begin to tell you how tired I was after 10 hours of that. It was like running a marathon.
That night, Sergio and I were sitting on his couch discussing plans for Saturday. He and I were going to Braves vs Yankees Spring Training, but he found out late that his younger son had a soccer game too. He mentioned his coach’s name, and I stopped him in his tracks. Coach Sephton? Yeah, he was on my Sunday League team here in Charlotte for years before he just moved to Orlando. We would have to stop by and say hello. Sergio and I then proceeded to talk until 3am. I do love a good conversationalist!
Saturday was baseball. 80 degrees and sunny at the ESPN Wide World of Sports. I wore ripped jeans, and I currently have a very strange suntan on my legs. This was an event for me. My grandparents lived and died by the Atlanta Braves, and I had been wanting to get down to their Spring Training for a long time. As I sat there, I thought my late grandmother would be well pleased. We then popped over to the soccer game, watched, and said hello to Coach Sephton, who per usual, criticized me for wearing ripped jeans. Dionne ordered pizza on the way home, and Saturday night was going to be just chill.
Sunday we woke up, and I was reminded I am not 20 years old anymore. We said our goodbyes, and moseyed on home with a quick detour to Daytona Speedway for my son (lover of Cars) to see. (Two restaurant recommendations between Charlotte and Orlando: Duke’s BBQ in Walterboro, SC and Maurice’s Piggie Park in West Columbia, SC.)
What’s the point? I felt like I was surrounded by fantastic people at every turn on this trip. It involved family, new friends, old friends, and complete strangers. If you had told me that the weekend would have played out as it did when I first thought about going to Florida, I would have said you were nuts.
But, per usual, we have to put a twist in. Take whatever it is you love, and I want you to consider incorporating it into a trip. I could have run the Charlotte Marathon, but I ran New York City instead. I can go to a Hornets game any time I want in Charlotte. But watching them in Indiana and almost again in Toronto (damn you Winter Storm Whatever!) was totally unique. Kevin Hart is less than a mile from my house in a week, but I drove to Evansville, Indiana to see him instead. Is this practical? No. But anything but khakis isn’t about practicality. It’s about adventure, and if it is time for you to have some adventure, then give it a thought.
I flew to Salt Lake City to run a race. I drove to Washington, DC to visit my dog. That sounds insane, right? But all of this stuff got woven into super-adventurous trips. Meals at St Elmo’s and games at Madison Square Garden and conversation with everyone and shopping on Rodeo Drive and hoopla everywhere, often with family and friends. Maybe there are even some friends you haven’t caught up with in a while that you could visit?
Here’s what got this brewing. A few weeks ago, I’m talking to some buddies about Carolina Panthers 2018. I can look into the stadium here in Charlotte from my backyard. I walk to games. Why would I want to fly to Cleveland or Pittsburgh or Philly next year to watch them play? Wait for it…why not? Ya’ll know I love the Browns too, so a Carolina at Cleveland trip is already seriously a-brewing. And I have to give props to my friends…they came to me with this idea not vice versa. I love it!
I always try to put my money where my mouth is, so I am in Florida right now. Braves-Yankees Spring Training, among other things (coming next week). Had never done it. Had always wanted to. It was time. So listen, get your wheels turning, both figuratively and literally. What do you love? How can you weave it into some really cool, unique, or meaningful experience in the near future? Drop me a message and let me know what you are thinking. And if you are a Panthers fan, maybe I’ll run into you in Cleveland later this year, and we can chat over a Great Lakes Brewing Co. beer!
Have a great week.-Benj
anything but khakis 