Bear with me this week friends. If you are a golf fan, then we are going to talk a little about my fascination with golf. If you are not a golf fan, don’t stop reading because this post is definitely NOT about golf.
Having said that, I want to tell you about my infatuation with golf. It’s about a 15 year journey, and I’m going to start with the present. I was down in Southern Mississippi last week, and I got in 2 rounds of golf at one of my new favorites, Shell Landing Golf Club. It’s gorgeous, perfectly manicured, and adjacent to the Gulf of Mexico. Round 1, I shot 87, which easily could have been an 80. Round 2, I shot 99, which easily could have been a 110. It’s maddening.
I have a big goal to become a scratch golfer in 2019. In layman’s terms, that is the consistent ability to shoot at or around par. Before everyone starts laughing, let’s travel back a few years. My dad loves golf, and he tried to get me involved as a teenager. Not interested. Too boring. Early to mid 20s, I caught the bug bad. I joined 2 local rural clubs and played nearly every day, sometimes twice a day. Often, the darkness is what made me quit, only to have the first tee time at sunrise the following morning.
During that time, I got my handicap down to around 3, not shooting out of the 70s for months at a time. Stellar for a complete amateur, and proof that it can be done. I took 1 lesson if I recall, and then just plugged away incessantly. But I had one major problem. I couldn’t be present and stay present. If I screwed up a hole, I couldn’t let it be. I would stew on it, which as you know, just made it worse. Contrastingly, if I had a really good round going, my mind would jump 5 holes ahead to how this could be the best round ever. And, of course, that just ruined it. My best score ever is 76, which I shot multiple times. And I firmly believe that I never beat that because I couldn’t be in the moment. Always behind or ahead.
Okay, non-golfers. Here we go. There are a lot of experts and non-experts out there making noise about the importance of being present. I’m a non-expert, but over the past few years, I have focused in on this concept, that for whatever reason is hard as hell. Minus blow-up holes on the golf course which might have caused me to throw a club or 3 at one stage, I managed the past piece pretty well. Can’t really do anything about something that happened 10 years or even 10 minutes ago. It was the future piece that I had a hard time with. Looking 5 holes ahead. Looking 2 weeks ahead. My 5 year plan. Anything but the present (.com). Well, I’ve worked really hard to sort that out, and I encourage you to do the same. Minus big picture personal goals, I rarely look more than a few hours ahead, really focused on enjoying who and what is in front of me. It’s been life changing. Really has.
My 87 in round one was pretty focused, considering I’ve played no more than 10 times in 2018. The flaws were simply physical. No problem. My 99? Well let’s just say, I had 99 problems and that day, being present definitely was 1. Work in process.
Have a great week. -Benj
Follow me on Instagram @anythingbutkhakis.
Follow me on Facebook @anythingbutkhakis.
If you would like to get my weekly blog
automatically in your email, subscribe on my website http://www.anythingbutkhakis.com.
As a young guy, I was afraid of tight spaces, bridges, bodies of water, and what people thought of me, to name a few. I was afraid of making a mistake, what would happen to me if I made said mistake, and not being in control. And as I sit here right now, I can tell you that I have gone from being afraid of almost everything to almost nothing. Not in a braggadocio way. In a freeing way. I didn’t like that feeling, so I went to work on me.
2. Bridges- Drove into a big storm over Lake Pontchartrain into New Orleans. That solved that.
3. Bodies of water- Got on a boat in the Gulf of Mexico where I couldn’t see land. Tried to outrun a storm. That solved that.
4. What people think of me-wrote an 
As many of you know, I have found great interest in hats over the past year and a half. I co-designed my first one about 15 months ago in California, and did a second one earlier this year in Texas. I keep telling anyone who will listen that I want to learn how to make hats, which I am still toying with honestly. Do I want to know how to fully make them, or do I just want to take a base model and customize it? It’s like, do I really need to know how to grow my own food, or just know how to cook it? Anyways, I took my first blank base model a couple of weeks ago, and decided to customize it on my own. First thing I did was set the hat on fire in a couple of different places to “distress” it. I had no clue what I was doing, but sometimes you just have to dive in. Then I took a leather necklace that had been made for me from Venetian glass and an Italian coin and wrapped it around the base. Voila. Not another one like it in the world…just how I prefer it.
I wore this hat to a party the day I set it on fire, and it started the conversations that I thought it might. People asked if it caught fire on accident. Others thought the distressing was manure or that it had been dragged through the mud. Regardless, it got people’s attention. It got one of my mate’s attention enough that he has commissioned me to customize one for him. So I am working on that tonight…my first one for someone else. Maybe the beginning of a small business?
In the meantime earlier this week, I took one of my older straw hats, and set it on fire. And as you can imagine but I had not fully thought through, it burnt a nice hole in the damn thing. Right in the front. I was pissed. That was my “mistake”. Then I quickly reminded myself to keep on open mind, and that oftentimes the coolest surprises come out of our “biggest problems” if we keep a positive mindset. So I calmed myself down, and then proceeded to set it on fire 4 or 5 more times. I’ve let it rest on my table for most of the week, sneaking glances every chance I can because I secretly know it’s the coolest, most unique one I’ve done yet.
So what gives this week? 3 things. First, many problems aren’t real problems if you keep an open mind and a positive attitude. Second, if you want to customize hats or grow your own food or whatever sets you on fire (sorry, had to), what’s stopping you from doing it? And third, if you want a custom hat or a custom anything, message me. I absolute love doing it because I love what customization represents. Always have. Everyone in this world is unique, and yet so many people talk, act, think, and dress the same way. Be you. Be free.
Meanwhile, my new friends in Mexico were busy upsetting Germany in the World Cup, and the Swiss surprisingly drew with the Brazilians. Pure magic. See, I’m pulling for Mexico. Team USA didn’t qualify. The folks in Mexico City treated me like 
Speaking of which, my son is a bit of a magician in my eyes. He makes me get out of my seat. There’s a sparkle there. I have been pondering all year what the most important things are that I want to teach my son. Last year, I wrote about keeping that beautiful smile on his 
Long story short, there is an immense amount of great stuff going on in the world right now. Amazing talents. Deep passion. Unreal skills. You personally may not be a professional golfer or soccer or baseball player, but I guarantee you that you possess some piece of magic. In your field of work. A hobby. A skill. Something. The world needs it. The world craves it. Whatever it is, use it. Make your dad proud. Make your son proud. But most importantly, do yourself proud.
Let me tell you about the latest incarnation of Benj, in the hopes that you can glean something valuable from it. Let’s call it Benj 9.0, for simplicity’s sake. Benj 9.0 has a basic annual schedule now. Today through the first Sunday in November is racing season. The first Sunday in November through today is eating season. God, I love good food.
My body can’t take constantly being in marathon shape, so I listen to it. My hunger for life and for literal good food is a choice I make. So I eat and I savor and I don’t care for a good part of the year. But then I crave a stern test that requires discipline, patience, and self awareness, and that’s where today comes in.
If having the country club membership or competing with your neighbor or being comfortable is important to you, go nuts. I’m not a hater. But if there are all these wonderful things that you personally want to do with your life that you are not doing, let me give you some advice. Walk your proverbial ass down to the proverbial track. Start with 2 laps. And see where it takes you. I had to learn this. Man, I had to learn this. But you know what? I ran 2 laps today. In a few months, I’ll be able to run 104 freaking laps. And along the way, I’m going to savor the journey once again. (And probably a few pizzas and burgers as long as y’all don’t tell.)
Friday night, there was a welcome party. If you’ve ever been to a good party, I don’t need to say anything else. Saturday morning, 40-50 people gathered on the beach for a wedding day yoga session. Now this was new to me. I had never done yoga. I had never done yoga on a beach. I had never done yoga on a beach on a morning after a welcome party. Now I have. And that was 48 hours ago, and I am still sore. But it was awesome! After that, the afternoon was wide open until the ceremony at 5:30. My wife and I ended up joining the legendary Wingate coaching staff of Gary Hamill and Joey Calandra for brunch at this local joint that was terrific. We grabbed a table outside and ate and talked. Before long, my mate Clarkie and his wife Jo came walking by, and we summoned them up to join us. They had a drink, and before long we migrated to a wine bar about 5 steps away. Fast forward some 5 hours later, and the stories that had been told and the bottles of wine that had been drunk were the perfect intro into wedding night. (Let me remind you, that afternoon piece was totally impromptu.) The ceremony and reception were great, followed by an after party on the beach under a pretty cool orange moon over the ocean. And finally, Sunday was beach day, which for me ended with a 5 v. 5 soccer match on the beach. I play soccer all the time, but usually not on the beach, and definitely not when the only language being spoken is French. That was pretty cool!
I returned back home for the first time in 11 days today.
As with any place, the Mississippi Gulf Coast has its own personality. I imagine the majority of you have never been, so let me enlighten you. The pace is slow. Like cook in the crockpot all day slow. That piece tests me, because I’m like zap it in the microwave fast. But otherwise, I dig it. One of my favorite things about the people down there is that they know how to do stuff. Filet a fish. Fix a boat. Build a house. Catch shrimp. Cut timber.
We had ribeyes at Donelle’s, a place so good it doesn’t have or need a website. BBQ at The Shed. Fried Oysters at the Tiki. Burgers at Huck’s. My son went crabbing. We all went fishing. I learned how to drive a boat. We looked for gators and snakes. I got 4 rounds of golf in.
The Gulf Coast is good because it forces me to let my hair down. I shower every 4th day. I rarely change clothes. I keep my shirt untucked at the golf course. No one cares. There are no rules. Except slow down. Relax. Enjoy. So I try. As Mr. Sorensen reminded me, I have to adapt to their way of life, not vice versa.
I think I turned a TV on twice, once to show my father in law the opening scene of Spectre in Mexico City, where I just was.
So what can the folks of Mississippi teach us? Life is right in front of you, with great food and golf and boating and exotic animals and sunshine and family and friends and fixing stuff and generally being present. Lots of enjoyment and lots of learning this week.
I am now a completely different human being. It took one year. I’m not nearly done yet, but the foundation took one year. I was out of my comfort zone every single day. It looks like I played all year long. Incorrect. Not even close. Immense, in depth work on myself, just in cool locations and in cool clothes. I haven’t rested all year long (other than my nap in 
Next is Mom # 1, the above big guy’s mom and my wife, Christy. First off, the above idea was hers, and that is ridiculously selfless.
Mom # 3 is my mom, who I am so happy to see today. She is both my biggest doubter and biggest supporter, which we laugh about all the time. When I got a dog some 12 years ago, the first thing she said to me was “What do you know about raising a dog?” Turns out, you learn. When I decided to run a marathon last year, the first thing she said to me was “What do you know about running a marathon?” Turns out, you learn. She’s quick to pop that question to me, but even quicker to throw her unwavering support behind any of my unusual activities I have decided to take on. She knows I’ve got this, and if I mess up, I’ll figure it out. What she may not know is that a good portion of the swagger I have comes from her quiet unwavering support. I’ve written this before, but never for Mother’s Day. She is genuinely the nicest person I have ever met, but is secretly super competitive. She is having a 2nd knee replacement surgery this week, and I love her attitude about it. She’s just ready to get on with it. Do what needs to be done. Sort it, so she can get back to living life. I love that attitude because of what it signifies. Sometimes life gets you down. Sometimes you need a new knee. Process it. Focus on it. Sort it out. And get back after it…stronger.
The first thing I did when I arrived in Mexico City last Friday was accidentally send my uber driver to the zoo instead of the airport. I had a good laugh to myself, but as much as I believe in respecting other peoples’ cultures, I knew I needed to get my act together quickly.
Leading up to the trip last weekend, I felt like people thought I was going to North Korea or something. The amount of pushback was staggering. It was Mexico City, and if you get some insight from people who have actually been there before, you would know it has become quite the cultural destination. A little edgy as is every city, but otherwise, awesome. Sounds like my kind of place.
The city is gigantic, super smoggy, and at a staggering 7,000+ feet above sea level, the altitude will pop you in the face. So I got to my hotel (Winston Churchill stayed there previously), dropped my bags, and took off on foot immediately, per usual. My first Mexican meal was very ordinary. I then walked a good 5 miles to explore the historic part of the city. I attended Catholic Mass (I’m not Catholic!). I went to the square of the opening scene in James Bond’s Spectre. I bought a new “Zorro” hat from Mexican legends Tardan. And then I met up with my friend Drew and his wife Sarah (who were randomly in Mexico City the same weekend) for a Friday night on the town. We drank local cervezas, 70 year old tequila, and had Cuban cigars. We laughed, and the conversation was super interesting…just 3 Americans enjoying Mexico City from a rooftop bar. We got wind of this excellent hole in the wall taco place some 2 blocks away, and we decided to go. It was roughly 11pm, and it was packed. We squeezed in, ate 12 of the most delicious tacos between the 3 of us, and then said goodnight shortly thereafter. That would be all I would see of them.
Saturday, time to explore some more. I walked the SoHo of Mexico City and the Rodeo Drive. In between, I hit some less glamorous places. Always enjoy that. I did some vintage shopping at this store called Void that is one of the coolest stores I have ever been to. I walked through their Central Park. I got what is sure to be the most unique bathing suit for this summer, and ate vina rosa ice cream that was unreal.
I wasn’t worried about game # 2 on Sunday at noon. Broad daylight. I had navigated the first one so easily. Wrong. Here’s the deal. I bought my tickets on the international version of a StubHub type site, but in Mexico you don’t actually take possession of the ticket until 2 hours before game time. You have a meeting place (Starbucks). A name and telephone number (too many digits). Worked perfectly Saturday night at Azteca. Not so much Sunday. My phone apparently doesn’t dial phone numbers with like 600 digits. Good to know. So I had to be flexible about an hour before game time, when it became apparent I wasn’t going to get my ticket. I calmly got another uber, made my way to the stadium, and bought tickets there. No problem. The atmosphere of game 2 (Pumas vs. Queretaro) was much more fun, although I did get beer poured on my head. I then took in the legendary Frida Kahlo museum, Casa Azul, before I was officially whipped. In 48 hours I had walked probably 15 miles in the Mexican heat. Ate. Drank. Shopped. Played. And I was literally done. So I went and took a nap at my hotel. Yes, you heard that correctly. I flew to Mexico City and took a nap. And then I awoke, watched sunset at El Angel, and called it a night.
Takeaways? Everything is ridiculously inexpensive. 25 cent tacos and metro rides. $5 ubers anywhere it seemed. $20 handmade silver. Montezuma’s Revenge is real. The city has loads of energy. The people are kind and warm and simply want you to enjoy their city and country. It’s bright and colorful, and the culture is electric. I felt more unsafe at the gas station back in Charlotte Tuesday than I did at any point in Mexico City. You probably want to be a bit of a seasoned traveler and do your due diligence to make this trip, but if you are, it is right at the freaking top of the list.
One thing niggled at me the entire trip. Prior to, so many people were telling me everything bad about Mexico City that I assume they had heard on the news or some other BS communication. And I just kept wondering how much life do people miss by listening to all of the noise, all of the time? Because if I had heeded the noise (which wasn’t true at all), I would have missed out on navigating one of the biggest, most culturally fascinating cities in the world. What an absolute thrill!
anything but khakis 